Dec. 14, 2022

Best of 2022: Danielle LaPorte | How To Be Loving

Best of 2022: Danielle LaPorte | How To Be Loving

In her latest book, How To Be More Loving, Danielle teaches that we don't need to focus on 'fixing' ourselves but rather we should align ourselves with our heart. This is the key to living a reflective, non-reactive and more loving life.

Danielle LaPorte joins us yet again to share her wisdom, this time on the practice of living a heart-centered life. In her latest book, How To Be More Loving, Danielle teaches that we don't need to focus on 'fixing' ourselves but rather we should align ourselves with our heart. This is the key to living a reflective, non-reactive and more loving life.

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Srini: It's time to rock and roll! You know the drill. We've done this before. All right, Danielle, welcome back to Unmistakable Creative.

Danielle Laporte: I am number one. I will always be number one because I'm an only child. I remember

Srini: That's why I

Danielle Laporte: asked the question. Yeah. Only child and shotgun wedding. So my mom got pregnant in high school and dropped out of high school as a result. And I was a toddler going to college with my mom so that she could get her BA in psychology.

Srini: So I found that I have two types of friends who are only children. And there are those that I think are selfish. They don't realize they're selfish, but they're selfish in really small ways. Like they don't show up to anything on time. The world kind of centers around them when it comes to these kinds of small things. And then I have other friends who, for them, their friends are like their siblings. So I wonder, being an only child, how did that affect your own social relationships as an adult?

Danielle Laporte: Oh, as a child, how did it affect my relationships? I can tell you how it affected one marriage that I was in, where I used to like just make snacks for myself and walk into the living room. And my then-husband would say, "Didn't you make some peanut butter and toast for me?" And I was like, "Oh, I just...," and I'd go back into the kitchen. How did it affect me as a child? I was a, I was a leader as a kid. I don't know if that had anything to do with me being an only child. I think it just had to do with, I was a natural communicator. I was making little books. I wanted to get up in class and I wanted to talk. And I was also giving counseling at recess to people. It's like, "You should go kiss her," or, "You should, I think you don't look too good. You should go home." I

Srini: Think, how old were you when this was all happening? Because I'm trying to imagine this little Danielle LaPorte holding court under a tree at recess.

Danielle Laporte: Yeah. That's young. That's like great too. That's a plus, wow. I was also deeply a deeply spiritual kid. Like I had, I converted my Barbie doll house into like a little religious monastery. There were rosaries in there and I just wanted to grow up and marry Jesus. I was so fascinated and moved by the whole Catholic ritual, all of it. How did being an only child affect that? I don't know. I've always felt on the outside, I always felt like this wasn't my home. Like my Lean Rhimes, who I'm blessed to have as a friend of mine, just released a song this week called "Spaceship." The album is called "God's Work," and she talks about come and get me. I don't think this is where I'm from. And I felt that. And I think being an only child contributed to that outsider feeling.

Srini: So you mentioned the marriage. What about your social relationships? How has it affected those throughout your life?

Danielle Laporte: I don't know. I don't know. I can just say this because I think it's one data point, It's like there are so many other data points that inform how we show up in the world and relational dynamics. So it's like I'm an only child. I was raised Catholic by very young parents. I have four planets in Virgo. I have a Gemini son. I was raised with a Canadian identity. There's all of these, I think there's this foundational blueprint that we incarnate with that is going to be abiding. And then I think there's all of these cultural impressions and programming. Conditionings that were given. And that is highly influential until we wake up and go, "Wait, I don't have to be this in a relationship. I don't have to be what my parents said I was, or what my nationalities said I am." And like a good example of this for me was the label of an introvert. I could take any personality test and I would skew heavily as I'd be on the high spectrum of an introvert, which has actually changed over the years, and I realized that label was holding me back. I could, I was noticing that I

Srini: Speaking of labels, I think I remember writing in my first book Unrestrainable that labels limit our capacity, and when we can go over them, we can transcend the limitations of what we think is possible within the context of a label. But I don't ever think I actually talked about how to let go of the label. How do you start to disconnect yourself from a label that you have identified with, particularly something that you've identified so deeply with your entire life?

Danielle Laporte: As always, a great question. You let go of the label by not focusing on the label. You can't let go of something that you've got your attention on. It's like you just, the grip actually tightens. And this is especially true of ephemeral things like emotions and patterning in the psyche. And I, and I identity labels. So instead of focusing, on an only child, Virgo, what my dad said about me, my job title, nationality, all these things. You focus on your true identity, which is really actually what my new book, How to Be Loving is All About. It's about rightful identity, truthful correct identity, which is that you are so much more than all of those labels; you are more than your desires, your feelings, and your emotions. You're definitely, I think most people can wrap their heads around this one. You are definitely more than your history and your past. You are, to use Ramdas's phrase, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. So your true nature is pure energy, consciousness, and life force. Beyond all of this and my experience, and this is also you know, baked into so much mystical teaching

Danielle Laporte: I've never been asked this before. I've actually, I do that to people. Yes. This is good. I always love our conversations. I feel qualified to answer this question because I grew up in a border city, so I grew up in Windsor, Ontario, and it was just a 10-minute ride across the Ambassador Bridge to Detroit, Michigan.

And when you grow up in that situation, for me at least, I grew up feeling kind of half American and then I moved to the west coast of Canada and I was immediately struck by how Canadian everybody felt. I was like, "Wow, you ingest Canadian media, you're listening to and watching the CBC, Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, and there's a little bit of a more of a lilt, a Canadian accent here."

This is what I've noticed the differences to be. And let me preface this by saying the more we focus on these differences in a negative way, the more divided we become. So I've learned to just see these differences as these are just unique personality attributes that don't apply to everybody, and we should really focus on how we are the same, but celebrating those traits.

Canadians are way more

Srini: One thing I wanted to ask you about, we're talking about you alluded to conditioning and culture, and I just, you'd mentioned the fact that I'd spent the entire summer in another country. You're a Canadian and now I'm conducting this interview in the United States. And you just made me wonder when you look at cultural conditioning in comparison to America and Canada, what do you see as the differences in terms of the way people are culturally conditioned in the United States, and then how that affects their adult lives versus Canada?

Danielle Laporte: Yeah. And you know the times I was asked, who our president was and I had to say, actually we have a prime minister. And there does seem to be an American attitude that America, unquestionably—and this is the operative word here, unquestionably—the best place in the world to live. And everything is worth questioning. Everything is worth questioning. Canadians, we are—there's truth in every stereotype.

Stereotypically, we're very apologetic and have good manners. There's a well-natured way we have about us. That's proven. I've traveled; I've been to a lot of countries and, as a Canadian, I would make sure when my kid and I traveled anywhere, backpacking, rollies, whatever—we always made sure I either we had a Canadian patch on our backpacks or we were very quick in any cafe to say, "Oh, we're from Vancouver..." and you could see there would be a shift. There would be a shift because we do tend to be a little more soft-spoken, and less boisterous. But where this gets us—and I think, and I'm really interested in this layer, which is—what

Srini: Yeah. I think the rest of the world is way more informed about Americans than we are about anyone.

Danielle Laporte: Yeah, it's striking.

Srini: Yeah. Let's get into the book. First off, what prompted this book? What was the impetus for writing it? Cause you write a book every three or four years, and even this, the opening of this book struck me 'cause you say, in my most recent year-in-review exercise, I seriously considered walking away from my creative life, which I tend to reconsider every few years. I had this romantic notion of meditating all morning in my apartment, growing potatoes on my deck for neighbors, wearing white peasant blouses, and never checking my Instagram again. And that sounds like the impetus for all of your books.

Danielle Laporte: , . This is my first book in five years. I feel like I know the book I ended up with is not the book I set out to write. This book, by the way, was a Creative side note. An unmistakable Creative side note. This book was really hard to write during the time that I wrote it. The world was really starting to fall apart. I felt I'd never been so distracted. And it was intense. It began with the seed of this evolution of desire. Which, is what I'm known for. It's run to about 400,000 people now. I've been through the Desire Map book and process and when a publisher wanted a sequel I went to them and said, "Yeah, I wanna do Desire Map 2.0, and let's get deeper into feelings and emotions." But all based on the truth that I had evolved, that desire had evolved for me. There was a different conversation I wanted to have around goal setting, which was it ain't what is cracked up to be. There's a more truly holistic approach. And as I was creating and pulling everything together I went deeper into what's now known in the book as having higher-quality thoughts or loving

Srini: You open the book by saying, spirituality is really just the practice of open-mindedness, of intentionally not putting up blocks to life. When we open our minds and we keep finding this incredible heart energy, always pulsating for us, eternally patient, endlessly vibrant energy, always pulsating for us, eternally. And then you say enlightenment is when the mind fans out so wide that it dissolves into unbounded loving awareness. Can you expand on that and explain what you mean by that? Because I think, in a lot of ways, spirituality has been mixed up with, yeah, new age nonsense that basically, I think there's this sort of correlation and causation mix-up of spirituality. It's like, spirituality means lighting scented candles, and meditating in front of a shrine for hours on end every day.

Danielle Laporte: Which again, minus the center candles. I think where we're going is, this is very meta, right? I think where we're headed, enlightenment is really enlightenment in spirituality. It's how do I break this down? Let me continue this thought about enlightenment. I think where we're headed eventually in many lifetimes ahead, but perhaps in eons, who knows—impossible for the mind to conceive of—is to move beyond feeling, to move beyond the mind. And this is a state of being. This is presence. This is what most of us know in just fleeting micro experiences—you're not in your head, you're actually not cognitively cognizant of anything. You're just in a state of presence. You really tap your divine state, which is beyond time, it's beyond the constructs of thought. So I think that's the goal, not that you can have a goal to be enlightened, but here we are in this dimension. We are thinking, we have minds. As long as you have a mind, you're going to think that the mind's job is to identify this, that, and the other. So that's what I mean when I say, go beyond whatever

Srini: One other thing you say is when we live more reflectively, we operate less reactively. And the funny thing is, I think, as a society we're in a constant state of operating reactively. Just our day-to-day behavior: "Oh, let me check who commented on my latest Facebook post. Let me check my email." Those are small versions of that. But then, you know, when you take that and put it on a much grander scale, it has serious consequences. So, one, how did we get here? But more importantly, how do we get from a place of operating reactively to living more reflectively?

Danielle Laporte: This goes back to the use of the mind, right? So the mind is always dividing - this is wrong, this is right; I am safe, I am unsafe; I am me, you are other - it's all super useful, but when we're not aware, when we're not heart-centered - which is where the real intelligence is, where we really become astute in energy - then we're going to be reacting, "Oh, this happened, so I should do this." And the important word there is "I should" - I should do this, I should have a particular reaction to a particular situation. I think that we're trained, we're socially programmed on how to feel; most of what we feel. It's like something happens and we are conditioned that we should have an angry or happy, pleased, or displeased response to what happened. And then this is what anger looks like. But if you really drill down, you can look at all the disappointing things that happen and you can ask yourself - and this sounds so remedial -but some of the wisest things are: "Why are you angry? Why should you be? Who told you you should be angry?

Srini: One thing you say. We can get trapped in the analysis. Mary, go round. We keep looking at our present through the lens of our past. We walk through the world through our relationships, asking ourselves, is this a reflection of my past and of us to love? And you say, but there's a shadow side of correlating our past with our present life. We keep digging up what we've laid to rest. And when we do, we're reenergizing that old pattern. We're reinforcing the old form. The retelling of those painful stories can hold us back from healing. So the question for me was, I understand that, and simultaneously, we obviously want to learn from the mistakes that we've made in our past and the things that we've done wrong, so we can avoid repeating them. So how do you do that while also letting it go or letting it be laid?

Danielle Laporte: To rest? I'm so glad you asked. I've been waiting for somebody to notice this in the book. Thank you. Therapy is great. Coaching is great. You should assess and deeply analyze your past, your family of origin stuff, the impacts it's had on you, and how your behavior today is based on your past. Please do that. The world will be a better place and you will sleep better. And then you gotta lay it to rest. You gotta move on; the wound itself has a hard time conceiving of being healed. And then we keep in mind what's the function of the mind. To delineate, to separate, to distinguish.

So the mind, the ego, the shadow is not gonna want us to expand and heal. It's gonna want us to be bounded, right? Don't be boundless, don't be healed and free. Let's have all these guardrails and all these reasons you shouldn't be over that. And from my personal experience, I'm really grateful. I'm immensely grateful. I think I owe a lot of my life, my happiness, and my wellness to qualified, loving psychotherapists who helped me. I've had so much therapy

Srini: It's funny because I literally, teed up the next question. And comment on the book. There's this line where you say, "Seeking truth as an intellectual pursuit can often get in the way of the truth itself. We collect so many philosophies and rituals along the way that we end up having to pass most of it so we can hear ourselves think clearly," which is hilarious considering you and I are talking about a book.

People are listening to a podcast to some degree seeking truth, and it just reminded me of this moment when I walked into the self-help section of the Boulder Bookstore. When I was living there, I walked upstairs and just kept browsing. Why the heck do I feel like I've read every single book here and there's nothing left here?

I'm like, "All right. I think that's a sign...Where do, how do you get to this point where you finally say, 'Okay, I can'? Like why? I think we, you, and I have talked before about why people constantly seek truth outside of themselves, so I'm more interested in how you get to that point where you stop.

Danielle Laporte: I think first you have to define what wisdom is, and we all know people who aren't learned, they're not educated, they haven't traveled. They don't even necessarily have a lot of diverse life experience. And they're incredibly wise. Incredibly wise. They give you the answer that soothes your nervous system. They give you the answer where you go, "Yeah, that's right. I gotta, I have the courage to do that." Yeah. And then I, there's some hallmarks of wisdom, which is how you know a wise decision from an unwise decision. A wise decision takes into consideration the benefit of everybody, everybody involved. Even the enemy, the person you're voting against, somehow everybody's needs are going to get addressed. That doesn't mean there isn't balancing the scales of justice, but wisdom includes everybody. Unwise is just looking out for you and a few other factions. So that's it.

Srini: Nugget of the question.

I guess the nugget of the question is like, how do you get to that place where you stop seeking truth as an all-encompassing pursuit outside of yourself? Yeah.

Danielle Laporte: You have to try it, you have to experiment with it. It's just like a diet. Really you're going on an information diet, and this has been the best fasting I've ever done. It's just like I haven't, this isn't saying much. I will say that much as well. It's like I haven't watched the news. I haven't watched television for, I don't know, it's going on a decade now and it's not saying much because I do ingest a lot of media through Instagram. So I get it, I see the headlines, but I don't actively, I'm just in the dentist's office a couple of weeks ago and it's so unfortunate that they have televisions now on the ceiling.

So you lean back in the chair and you're just being programmed by this media crap. And I'm just like, wow, this is all doom and gloom. If you believe the news, humanity is awful and nothing good ever happens and you're gonna die soon. It's just, it's so bad. Being more aware of what you're ingesting is how to build that muscle of inner referencing. And I think obviously in addition to the news, it includes all the spiritual stuff

Srini: It's funny that you say that 'cause my dad turned 70 recently and my brother-in-law just did this like brief video of him. It's on Instagram, you can find it. And I remember asking him, like, the guy literally looks like he's 50 years old, he stopped aging. There's a contrasting picture between 60 and 70 and there's literally no difference like we're mistaken for brothers frequently. And my brother-in-law was like, "You look great. What's your secret?" And he was like, "Have a glass of wine every day. Don't have regrets. Assume what happens is for your own good. Don't mix work problems with home problems and your happy wife is a happy life." And I'm like, "This guy just summed up a thousand self-help books in 30 seconds. It's all brilliant. It was so simple. It was just like, wow..."

Danielle Laporte: Okay, I like to assume that everything happens for a good reason. Yeah, for the best.

Srini: Best, yes. That's his philosophy of life. He's like, "Whatever happens is for your own good." And, but it was just funny as it was like, "Wow, I've done a thousand interviews, read a thousand books, and the one source of wisdom here is literally my own dad, summed all of that up in less than 60 seconds." He got it. Yeah. No. This actually probably was my favorite part of the book because I have been going on this endless rant about personal development and questioning it. But you say, "The ego's favorite hiding places are personal development workshops, self-helpers, and spiritual seekers who really know how to strive, and striving is classic going."

And then you say, "Self-helpers and spiritual seekers also uphold the values of humility, unity, and compassion. It's a lot of upholding. Then there are charity donations, peace rallies, and petitions. Spiritual circles are the perfect place for covert ego striving." And I was like, "All right. That's my favorite part of the book."

I think part of it is partial because of my own sort of where I am at with all of this. But it makes me want to

Srini: Let's talk about this idea of self-acceptance. Cause you say self-acceptance will be the undoing of you, the undoing of identities that are terribly false or too narrow. Even the spiritual ones or the socially applauded achieving ones. And that kind of, in a lot of ways, takes us back to the whole idea of labels, right? It's like, Oh, I'm validated now by my parents because I'm not just some guy screwing around the internet. I wrote a book so my parents can go and tell their friends, Oh, he's a published author, which is a socially applauded achieving identity. So how do you get rid of all those layers to get to this? Because I think that's a false sort of self-acceptance in a lot of ways, 'cause you feel like you're being self-accepted, but the reality is you are mixing up self-acceptance with other people's acceptance.

Danielle Laporte: I think also people overlook there's the. There's the human everyday struggle that gets filtered out of the blog posts and Instagram feeds. But there's the, there's a whole other dimension to take into consideration, which is someone's karma and the lessons that their soul is dispensing for them. It's just looking at Hollywood, right? Success is not necessarily based on talent. I think it does have a lot to do with stamina, resilience, persistence, and hard work, and that can be accessed from numerous places. You can get that from your shadow self or you can get that from your healed loving self. But there's something more going on. It's like, when I decided to come to this plane, what's my growth edge? Maybe my growth edge is to learn to deal with loss and still feel close to life, or maybe my growth edge is to have material success and deal with all these issues around self-worth and generosity. Like we just don't know. You have to leave so much room up to mystery about everybody's journey, why they get what they got, why they didn't get what they wanted. So I don't spend much time anymore looking at how people

Danielle Laporte: Yes. That's so good. Self-acceptance. Radical self-acceptance is you're good no matter what you do. It's not based on any kind of performance. Whether the performance is making stuff, being productive, or having valuable relationships or vitality. It's just like you were good. You are worthy no matter what. You don't even engage in the conversation about worthiness is, of course, I'm just here. I'm here. I'm on the planet. Something greater than me is carrying me through this. I'm here for a reason. End of the story, period. Good enough. How do we get there? This goes back to the top of our conversation. You focus on what's working. You get aspirational, about loving yourself. You focus on acceptance, and by focusing on that, that's where the hard work is.

Really, this is self-acceptance. What's known in our space is shadow work. Self-acceptance is, I did this thing that I'm ashamed of. I'm gonna be gentle with myself about that. I'm not even gonna push away the shame. This is unconditional love. Self-acceptance is, yeah, I have this

Srini: Wow. So let's talk about other people because this really struck me and I had a funny story to share with you. This was what I shared in the show before; people are where they are, despite our desire for them to be further along, more evolved, more fun, closer to our level, less intimidating, more relatable, easier to access, or just more like us.

If you take the desire for someone to be different out of the equation, then you can meet them where they are, and that's how to be loving. It reminded me of the story I had with my mother. She gets very irritated with the way people load the dishwasher. And apparently, this is a very common issue because Oatmeal did an entire cartoon about this.

Danielle LaPorte: Yes. You want to talk to your mother because she would probably do it the same way. Yep. Yeah.

Srini: So yeah, the oatmeal is if you don't load the dishwasher like Jesus on Adderall, your dishwashing privileges will be revoked. I'd add that I tend not to do that and got irritated.

So I'm there sitting with the therapist and it's six months later he's like, "All right, look, we've been talking about your mom a lot. He said, 'You can either continue to go to battle with your mom or accept the fact that this is how she is.' And I come back and my dad was like, 'How was therapy?'

And I tell him this. He's like, 'Yeah, I could have saved you 50 bucks and told you that, so I guess the question then is like, why is it that we are always wanting people to be different than they are, particularly parents?' I think I've noticed that we're always like, 'Ah, I wish you would do this and be this way.'

And no matter how much I finally come to terms with the fact that there are things about my mom that are not going to change, and yet there are times when I will still go to battle with her because I can't take it.

Danielle Laporte: What part of you can't take it?

Srini: Sometimes I feel like she oversteps. Like she doesn't have any boundaries in her world.

Danielle Laporte: And so why do you want her to be different?

Srini: I guess for my own peace of mind, but the reality is probably I would get the peace of mind if I accepted the fact that she's not going to be. Yeah. Both.

Danielle Laporte: Are true, right? Yeah. So for our own peace of mind, we don't want anyone to rock the boat. We have a mind that has a very particular vision of how we want things to be. People should talk to me this way. The person I marry should look like this. The job should be this kind of fulfilling, my body should be like this. Like we have this construct. And then other humans, what do you know, come up and they're bumping against this construct of the mind. All these ideas about perfect are, or harmony is, mothering or loading the dishwasher or goodness. And it's just never going to be perfect. And the more spacious we get, and by spacious I mean you just breathe into your heart and you just be present with this is happening and I'm not gonna resist it. My mother is on my ass again about how to load the dishwasher.

And right there you've taken the charge out of the moment and then whatever move you make next, you're making the move consciously. You're making the move from your presence, your awareness, the heart intelligence, which is maybe she got a point about how to load the dishwasher. Or you can

Srini: Danielle, quick side-note, do you see a thing that says "Recording Failed" on your Riverside screen? I've been looking at my book notes for your presentation, and I just noticed that right now. I'm hoping to God it was only a minute or two.

Danielle Laporte: Let me put my glasses back on. Yes, I do. Ah

Srini: Far far. You gotta be kidding me.

Srini: It's funny that you say that about Canada because I think that too. I also noticed that, coincidentally, it's an election year right now in Brazil, and their current president has been incredibly polarizing. One of the sandwich shop owners told us, "It's a good thing you guys aren't gonna be here on September 7th," which I believe is Brazil Independence Day. Somebody may have to fact-check that, but they're expecting 500,000 Bolsonaro supporters to be on Copacabana Beach. The guy was like, "We're gonna close our store that day."

My roommate Tim and I were talking about how media influences behavior there and just in general. When you look at advertising in the United States or you look at marketing in the United States, it's extremely hyped up, whereas, in Brazil, everything was so literal. Like for example, with water, right? If you buy a bottle of water in the United States, it's hyped up to no end. In Brazil, it's this is water with gas. This is water without gas. That's literally it. They're very literal about certain things, which is really interesting. Instead of hyping it up, don't get

Danielle Laporte: Something went wrong during the recording. Please refresh the page.

Srini: Do that. I'm going to, so let's do it, just refresh it right now. I'm hoping to God it was only a small amount. All right.

Danielle Laporte: Okay. When I just hit refresh, I blanked out there for a minute, so I'm

Srini: Back. You're back. So here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna finish up with my last question. As always, I'm gonna go back and see how much of it we got and see if we can salvage the majority of it, which pisses me off because Riverside is usually pretty good and every now and then they have hiccups. And I literally just noticed it only because I was looking at my book notes for your book and when I switched back to the screen I was like, ah. . So let's do this. Let's finish up with the final question. I'll see what we can salvage. Otherwise, as much as I hate to do this, we have to do another take. So yeah, you'll love technology.

Danielle Laporte: Huh? Yeah. That's cool. All right. Mercury retrograde. OK. Final question.

Srini: Yeah. And the other thing is what we might be able to do is actually just add, do the last half as opposed to a full interview. 'Cause I'm sure we probably got a good amount of it. All right. Cool. Funny enough, this is the sixth or seventh time I'm asking you this question, so it's always interesting to see how somebody answers this question when they've been here multiple times. What do you think it is that makes somebody or something unmistakable?

Danielle Laporte: What do you mean by, "I don't think I've ever countered this"? What do you mean by unmistakable? What, so

Srini: The funny thing is that I had to define what I meant by "unmistakable" for writing a book because when I wrote the self-published version of The Art of Being Unmistakable, the first thing my editor at Penguin said was, "You realize you never once define what it means to be unmistakable." And I was like, "Yeah, I guess that's a point. But my definition is something so distinct that nobody else could have done it but you; it's immediately recognized as something that you've done. Something that you've created that you don't even have to put your name on it."

Danielle Laporte: That's my definition. Yes. I think our joy makes us unmistakable. And I've just come across this concept recently called SW Dharma. So Dharma is your path, and this is, I wouldn't quite say it's your destiny, but like this is the way you're going to walk it, but SW Dharma is the path that only you can walk and it's you bringing your innate talents and joys and gifts to life. And to not do that is in violation of the contract you have with your soul. And I am, I have struggled in my life with my own, to, to use your wording, my own unmistakably "Hey I'm good at this and I want to do this, and I have a longing and a desire for this, but is it spiritual enough? Is it clear enough? Is it really what I'm meant to do? Is this on purpose? And now I have no doubt, that I have to, my joy lies in nourishing my joy and that will be unmistakable, at least to me. And that is really all that matters at the end of the day.

Srini: Amazing. I can't thank you enough as always for taking the time to join us and share your wisdom and your stories and insights. Where can people find out more about you, your new book, and everything else that you're doing?

Danielle Laporte: How To Be Loving is out in the US and Canada, and it'll soon be out in the UK, so get it wherever you like to support independent booksellers, hopefully, or anybody. And I'm at

I've got my Heart Centered Membership Program, which is really a spiritual support system. We have our Heart-Centered Leadership Program, which is for coaches, facilitators, teachers, and HR directors. We've got this beautiful curriculum on having conversations around virtue and resilience, and I tend to hang out a lot on Instagram.

Srini: Amazing. And for everyone listening, we'll wrap the show with that. All right. Fingers crossed that