Dandapani | The Power of Unwavering Focus

Srini Rao

Dandapani. welcome to the Unmistakable Creative. Thanks so much for taking the time to join us.

Dandapani

Thank you Srini Rao, it's been quite a few years and thank you for having me back.

Srini Rao

Oh, it is my pleasure to have you back. Um, you know, I always say anytime we have somebody back for a second time, it just says a whole hell of a lot about what an amazing guest they were the first time. So no pressure at all. Um, but part of the reason that we're having you back this time is that you have a new book out called the power of unwavering focus, all of which we will get into. But before we get into the book, I want to just start by asking you, what did your parents do for work and how did that end up shaping and influencing the choices that you have made with your life and your career?

Dandapani

Thank you.

Dandapani

I've never been asked that question before, Srini Rao. So my dad was a biochemist, a PhD, and my mom was a mom and a housewife. And I would say my mom greatly influenced me in the spirituality and she still continues to do so. But I would say the choices that I made in this life to pursue a spiritual path, to live as a monastic for 10 years, and now as a Hindu priest, was driven by my previous lives. I believe in reincarnation and I believe in previous lives. I...

pursued a very deep spiritual path that in this life, it was easy for me to get back on it and pursue it again. I had wanted to be a monk since I was four or five years old and there was nothing that happened between zero and four and five that caused me to go down this path. I just naturally could get into it without too much difficulty.

Srini Rao

Yeah. So, you know, your dad being a biochemist, when your parents realized that you wanted to be a monk, was there any sort of conversation about, no, you're not gonna do that, go to medical school?

Dandapani

Yeah, no, I mean, look, my parents never discouraged me, but they also, I would say, never encouraged me. No one in my family or extended family were priests or monks, so there was no tradition in our generations of anyone as such. My dad obviously wanted me to do science, which I did, and I studied math and science and physics and stuff in school and hated chemistry.

I hadn't found my guru when I graduated from high school, so I studied electrical engineering, graduated from engineering school. But during that time when I was in university, I met my guru and as soon as I graduated, I moved from Australia where I grew up to Hawaii to join his monastery.

Srini Rao

So you were in high school in Australia. What is the experience like for a high school student in Australia, particularly one who has set his goal in life to become a monk? Because I don't think that any student would go into a guidance counselor's office in the United States and have a conversation with that guidance counselor and then say, you know, I think my choice of what I wanna do after I finish high school is to become a monk. I can't even imagine how that conversation would go.

Dandapani

No, no. Well, the interesting thing is I grew up in Malaysia in the early part of my life and we migrated to Australia. So I did the last couple of years of high school in Australia and I went to a very small private Catholic school. I'm not sure how I ended up there. I think it's because my uncle had gone there and the people that ran it or at least the headmaster and some of the some of the teachers were actually Catholic priests.

So I did end up talking to a couple of them about my monastic life intentions and they were leading, you know, Catholic priests and Catholic monks are pretty similar. They lead celibate lives. They live in coisters with each other or by themselves. So they could actually relate to me. Well, they obviously could, they were living their lives and I could actually have a couple of conversations with them, even though I wasn't a Christian. It helped me, it was nice to have that chance to talk to them.

But with all my friends, you know, they were regular teenagers that wanted to play sport, which I did as well, and you know, date and do teenage stuff. And my pursuit was more inward than outward. Didn't make me better than them. It was just different. And I think a lot of it, you know, also Srini Rao was me coming to accept that our paths weren't aligned and I needed to make.

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Dandapani

choices that took me on my path and they made choices that took them on that path and to be completely okay with that. It's not one better than the other, it's just choices we're making.

Srini Rao

Yeah, that is such an unusual sort of level of self-awareness for somebody as young as you were. What do you think it is that enabled you to have such clarity and self-awareness about what you wanted from your life that frankly most people don't have well after they graduate from college? I mean, I if you'd even talk to me about any of this stuff, you know, when I was 20 something, I would have said this all sounds like a bunch of new age nonsense.

Dandapani

My honest answer would be really the whole theory of reincarnation. I mean, in a very simplified way, Srini Rao, you can take a, there's two options. There's the one life, you know, I born, I live, I die, and then it's heaven, hell, or the whole thing just ends. Or there's the reincarnation. So for me, if I take the theory that I've been on the spiritual path for many lives and pursuing this, then this life is continuation of that thread.

it's so much easier for me to make those decisions and have the clarity because I've been doing it for many lives. It's the same way, you know, when I left the monastery about 12, 13 years ago, and I decided to be a priest and an entrepreneur, I had to learn so much, and I'm still learning so much about entrepreneurship. I met and continue to meet so many amazing entrepreneurs that who've been entrepreneurs since they were teenagers or in their early 20s and very, very successful ones at that. And I'm going like,

Okay, they obviously have done this in previous lives, that in this life, it's so easy to pick up that thread again and keep going. It's not something I've done for many lives. So even though I've been doing it for 10, 11 years, I still have a lot to learn. Whereas someone who's been doing it for many lifetimes, is naturally able to pick it up and go in the same way it would be for a carpenter and artist and musician who've been cultivating that talent over many lives and therefore picking it up so easily.

early on in life and being able to discontinue that thread without too much effort and having that clarity as well.

Srini Rao

Yeah, well, this idea of many lives.

Right. And the idea of reincarnation. I mean, there's so much literature that sort of emphasizes this notion of, you know, you have this life, this one and only life. I mean, I distinctly remember we just aired this episode titled The Hero's Journey and A.J. Leon at the very end of it says, this is it. This is your one and only life. And so I wonder how you sort of integrate the concept of, OK, wait a minute, there's potentially another life that I'm going to live.

without sort of saying OK I'm not going to wait for my next life to live the next because I always jokingly say that Indians are on a deferred life plan which is a term that comes from Randy commissar's book. The monk in the riddle because they believe in reincarnation because Indians in particular are notorious for delaying you know gratification to the extreme it's like oh I'll do that when I worked hard to earn enough money and it's like wait a minute you realize there are certain things.

Dandapani

I guess.

Srini Rao

that you are physically not going to be capable of. The author Bill Perkins calls this the peak utility of money. And he says there's a certain point at which even if you have the money, you're not going to be able to do some of the things that you wanna do. And he gives these really beautiful examples in the book. One was of this dream birthday party that he'd always wanted to throw with his parents, his closest friends, like the most extravagant birthday bash.

Dandapani

Mm-hmm.

Srini Rao

And he didn't wait until he was 50. He did it when he was 46. And he says, and you know what he said five years later, my dad passed away. And I wouldn't have been able to have that experience and that, you know, that just stayed with me. Um, so yeah, how do you sort of integrate this two concepts of, okay, yes, the reincarnation, but also we have this life right now.

Dandapani

Mmm.

Dandapani

I love that, yeah.

Dandapani

Yeah, I would say just dialing it back a little bit, you know, the Abrahamic religions believe in a one life. And the Eastern religions tend to believe more towards reincarnation. So as a Hindu, I believe in reincarnation, but I also believe very strongly I have one life as me, as Dandapani in this life. My next life, I could be a six-foot tall, blonde girl named Olga for all I know. In this life as Dandapani,

Srini Rao

Hmm

Dandapani

I want to live an amazing life. You know, Srini Raovas, when I joined the monastery, three years after I joined the monastery, my guru passed away. We found out one day he had cancer, and within three months or so he passed away. It was devastating. On his deathbed, one of the last things he said was, what an amazing life. I would not have traded it for anything in the world. And, you know, it was such a, you know,

those words really transformed my life among many things he said. I thought to myself, how amazing would it be to get to the end of your life and to be able to look back and say, I lived an amazing life. So that's how I look at this life. Even though I have many lives in this incarnation as Dandapani, I want it to be really, really amazing. And for that, uh, I, I need clarity of purpose. I need the ability to focus on my purpose.

live a purpose-focused life, the byproduct of that allows me to live an amazing life. All those repercussions of living an amazing life carry forward in continuity to my next life. But as opposed to doing the South Asian deferred payment thing in the next life, I prefer to get the gratification in this life than wait for the next life.

Srini Rao

Mm-hmm.

Srini Rao

Yeah. Well, I always joke that I was like, with all the skeletons in my closet, I'll be reincarnated as a cockroach. So I'm going to bet everything on this life.

Dandapani

Well, I think I'll be a bug next to you, probably.

Srini Rao

Yeah. Um, so speaking of, of which, you know, I think there's this sort of perception of monks as these sort of holier than thou, you know, people who have no vices, who, um, you know, are just perfect in, in terms of their, their mental states. I mean, I know that is not true. I'm curious.

And this is probably a very weird way to compare the two things, but I've talked to a lot of people who have been incarcerated and they talk about the experiences of both going out or going into prison and coming out. And they often say that coming out is harder than going in. So I'm curious, like, talk to me about, you know, your first night at the monastery and what that's like. And then we'll talk about sort of coming out of it.

Dandapani

Yeah, for me making the decision to be a monk was really easy. Like I said, I wanted to be a monk since I was four or five years old. Then it was really a pursuit of finding a teacher that could train me. I was very adamant about finding, if I was going to give my life to this cause, I wanted a teacher that, you know, was of the highest order. So going in wasn't difficult. I would say the first few nights, the first few weeks and months, initially you're emotionally excited.

You go there, you're a novice, you're learning about this life. So the start is actually not difficult. It's a few months in, a few weeks in, a few months in, when the reality of it all starts to kick in. That's when it gets difficult. The first couple of days, the first few weeks, you're all excited about being a monk. You think, you know, I'm gonna levitate soon and walk through walls. A few months go by and you realize like, holy crap, this is my life.

Srini Rao

Mm-hmm.

Dandapani

And I'm waking up at four in the morning, going to bed at nine at night. I'm not seeing my family, talking to them, any of my friends or relatives anymore. You know, I'm going to be living a celibate life the rest of my life within the confines of this monastery walls. And this is my future. I have three meals a day. I'm not snacking in between. I can't go out and buy a coffee whenever I want. I can't go get a drink whenever I want. I can't, I can't buy a KitKat and a snack. Nothing. I can't go to the beach. I mean, this is it.

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Srini Rao

Hehehe

Dandapani

When that reality starts to set in, that's when most people go, hell, I'm getting out of here.

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Srini Rao

Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. So I wasn't wrong in comparing it to the experience of going to prison. So there are similarities. The difference being you can leave.

Dandapani

Yeah, no... Yes, the choice here is that you can leave and that you didn't commit any crime.

Srini Rao

Yeah. So when somebody hits that breaking point of, okay, you know what? I'm, you know, I'm going to leave. Well, what happens there particularly for people who don't last as long as you did.

Dandapani

Well, every monastic tradition is different. And within Hinduism, there's different traditions as well. In our monastic order, you actually don't, you're not a monk. The first year you're there, you're trained as a novice. So the first six months you take pledges and you live a certain life. Then the second six months you take another set of pledges. And then after a year, should you choose to then take formal monastic vows and should the monks accept you?

as a monastic in their order, then you get ordained as a monk. So there's two six-month periods of training before you even take formal vows. So a lot of times the exodus happens in the first few weeks. My guru told me once that it's the guy that came in the morning and left in the evening.

Srini Rao

Sounds like that's that sounds like that's what I would do. I would probably you know It's like this sounded like a good idea in my head, but this was a terrible idea

Dandapani

Yeah, no, you know, look, I can't tell you, Trini, how many people have come up to me over the years and said, you know, I've always thought about being a monk. Like, I've always thought about being a soccer superstar. Make me one. You know, I think it's something that is mysterious. Most people know about monastic life is from TV, potentially more than books even.

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Dandapani

You know, either watching Seven Years in Tibet with Brad Pitt or, you know, David Carradine's Kung Fu, I'm dating myself here and any of those kinds of shows. And then, you know, that's what they think it is. You know, you're there with the master, you're speaking in the soft, slow voice, you're sweeping the floors, you're learning martial arts, you're meditating all day. That's, that's far from the reality of what monastic life is.

Srini Rao

What is the reality? That literally teed up my next question. So like you said, we experience monastic life through media. So what misperceptions does media create about monastic life?

Dandapani

Well, again, every tradition is different and I can only speak for the order that I was in. In our order, I would say, you know, my guru took an approach of, you know, only monks under Vaos could live within the monastery. So we followed a very traditional system. He did embrace technology. Our whole day was structured. We had to be in the temple at five thirty in the morning. We had prayer, we had meditation, we had to exercise half an hour a day.

The monks at that time when he was alive, there were 27 of us, were broken into five groups. One group took care of the outdoor gardens, grounds, food. Another group took care of the administration. Another group was finance. Another group was desktop publishing and digital publishing and print publishing. So monks had computers, we had iPhones. We had lunch at a certain time. We cleaned the monastery at a certain time. We took a nap in the afternoon because we got up so early.

We ended our day in a certain time. So our whole day was structured and all of that was part of training us in discipline and understanding how the mind worked, understanding how the body worked. But it was all teeing us up for the ultimate experience of why each monastic went into the monastery, which was self-realization or enlightenment. So the day was actually structured to support the pursuit of that.

Srini Rao

So so yeah, I guess my comparison to being incarcerated was not entirely inaccurate then

Dandapani

No, I mean, I can totally see what you mean by, you know, you cut off from the world, right? And you're living among other people. But yes, the experience is completely different. No one's trying to beat you up or, you know, or other things we wouldn't want to describe on your show.

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Srini Rao

Mm-hmm.

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Well, again, you know, that's the funny thing, right? Well, you know, you would be surprised. That is kind of one of the things I've learned from talking to so many incarcerated people, kind of like we have misperceptions of what the monastic life is. We have a lot of misperceptions of the incarcerated life. The I remember Joe Lig, I wrapped 30 banks. He said, you know, the safest people in prison are, he said, people who are there for life.

And he said, you'd never think that he said, but that's, you know, he's like, those are the guys who put a Snickers bar on your pillow when it's your birthday.

Dandapani

Mainly. Well, yeah, no, and again, all perceptions we have of incarcerated life is from TV, right? Or books we may have read, but mainly from TV. You know, you watch Shawshank Redemption and you think you know what prison life is all about.

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Srini Rao

Exactly.

Srini Rao

Yeah, exactly. Well, so, you know, it's funny. You just talked about sort of the seeking of enlightenment. And, you know, you and I are talking about your target market for your book, which we won't mention for the sake of the fact that I don't want to offend anybody. But I think that there.

Dandapani

Yes.

Srini Rao

is this sort of confusion about what it means to be enlightened because this I have asked, you know, I've mentioned on the show before there is a town I lived in San Diego, which is known for being very spiritual called Encinitas and they have a Facebook group called the conscious community. And I remember

reading through the posts and I called my friend Charmaine. So Charmaine, can you tell me what the hell it means to be conscious because based on reading these posts, I'm getting the sense that it means you're out of touch with fucking reality.

So define what enlightened actually is for me. What does it mean to be enlightened?

Dandapani

So I always tell people there are numerous steps and the first step is really defining what philosophy you subscribe to. The philosophy defines the goal. So within Hinduism, I belong to one particular sect, there are four sects within Hinduism, I belong to one particular sect called the Saivite sect. In that sect, the subphilosophy of Hinduism there defines enlightenment as self-realization and to...

put that in simple words, one aspect of this is through deep meditation, I go within me and experience divinity inside of me. We define God as one aspect of God as pure, intelligent energy that permeates everything inside of me, you, the trees, the stones, even the dog poop on the sidewalk. So how can I go within me and experience that I essentially am made up of the same energy that makes up everything in this universe? And that experience of that

is one of the aspects of self-realization, not the ultimate aspect, but one of the aspects of that experience, to keep it really, really simple.

Srini Rao

Yeah. Well, let's get into one more aspect of the monastic life, which I think will make up her transition to the book. Talk to me about coming out. What is that experience like? Is it like reverse culture shock to go from sort of this very monastic life? Does life suddenly feel like it's moving a million miles an hour?

Dandapani

No, you know, it was the hardest decision I've ever made in my life, making the choice not to be a monk anymore. When I decided to do that, my vows expired. I left the monetary, which was in Hawaii. Instead of going back to Australia, I moved to California, landed in LA. And you know, I would say the first year was very difficult, the first year and a half. Difficult not because I was adjusting to the world, and I think that's what most people would perceive. Difficult because...

I knew I would never live a monastic life anymore and that was something I wanted since I was four or five years old. So the reality of that was something I had to come to terms with and adopt my new way of living in the world. Adjusting to the world for me at least wasn't too difficult. I was clear what I wanted to do. There were strange things. We had technology in the monastery so monks said.

You know, MacBook Pros, iPhones that we used to do our work and everything. So technology wise, we were up to date, up to speed with everything. But I'd come out and go like, what the hell, when broke up? When? You know, when did this happen? And so it's stuff like that I said, no idea. I was into soccer growing up, you know, I followed my favorite team, blah, blah and stuff. I go into the monastery. Ten years later, I come out, you know, like no one's playing the team anymore.

Srini Rao

Hahahaha!

Srini Rao

Yeah.

Dandapani

You know, so many things have happened. You know, family members, you know, relatives, you know, died. People have kids, but you don't even know who they are. You know, new TV shows, new actors, new music. You know, we didn't really listen to we didn't really, but we didn't listen to Western music. So, you know, you go in with a certain type of music and 10 years later, you come out and you're hearing completely different types of music. So those things took a bit of adjustment. People come up to you and start talking about something. You know, I have no idea.

Srini Rao

Mm-hmm.

Dandapani

But it was almost someone took you out of the world for 10 years, put you on Mars and then brought you back. And then now you're trying to relearn a lot of cultural things or what the world has moved forward with.

Srini Rao

Mm-hmm.

Srini Rao

Well, this is one thing I'm

Dandapani

But none of those were important to me, so it really didn't affect me very much.

Srini Rao

Duh.

Well, this is one thing I'm more really curious about. So you go through this period in which you're celibate and now you're married. As I understand it, that was one thing that I wondered is like, how do you learn to date and to sort of, you know, I mean, renouncing of how celibacy seems basically like it would be pretty easy after eight years. Like, yeah, I really need to get laid. But the actual experience of courting and dating, I think would be such an interesting transition when you kind of thought, oh, this is just never going to be something I have to think about when, you know, I,

Dandapani

Yeah.

Dandapani

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Srini Rao

What is that? The joke is that basically we're thinking about sex like 90% of the time until we're having it consistently Yeah, I mean I think that Napoleon Hill even said part of the reason married men people often tend to be much more successful after They get married is because that sort of relentless pursuit of you know Satisfying this their sexual desire is kind of they're able to declines because they're able to channel that energy into something else

Dandapani

You know, it's interesting you mentioned that. It's probably one of my most favorite self-help books, if not my most, you know, Think and Grow Rich. I think it's such a mystical book with so many deep insights in it. I totally agree with Hill, and that's how monastics view sexual energy as well. And the whole reason for celibacy is not because sex is viewed as a bad thing. At least in Hinduism, you know, look, we have the Kama Sutra. You know, it's like, here's a manual on how to do it if you want to do it right.

The whole pursuit of celibacy was about the conservation of energy and the re-channeling of that intense life force for the pursuit of enlightenment. And you know, most people just masturbate their life away and send it down the shower drain onto a blanket or whatever, you know. So this is the proper utilization of that life force. So for me, you know, when, and just to clarify for your audience as well, Hindu monks live

Srini Rao

Hmm.

Dandapani

celibate lives either with other Hindu monks or on their own. Hindu priests are actually householders meaning they can get married, work in McDonald's, be an entrepreneur. So when I left monastic life I decided to be a Hindu priest so I could get married, I could earn my own income. That was a big driving reason for being a priest is that I wanted to be financially independent. I felt that if I was financially independent I could say what I want to say and the people didn't like me.

I couldn't care less. I wouldn't be dependent on having a congregation financially support me. So I was clear on those things and what I wanted to do with my life in CREATE. So then it was really about finding someone that was aligned with me. I had no pursuit and, I basically was very clear what I wanted. And because I was very clear what I wanted, it wasn't very hard to see in somebody else if they were aligned with me or not.

And I think a lot of people are clear with what they want. So when they meet someone, they can be misguided emotionally, because there's always an intense emotional, there's a lot of intense emotion at the start, and then go in a different path. But if you know what you want, then you can see. And you also know what you don't wanna compromise, then you can see if that person's aligned with you or not. And when I met my wife, just we were just very aligned. Yeah.

Srini Rao

Mm-hmm.

Srini Rao

What?

You know, funny enough, I think that conversation about sexual energy will make a perfect segue into the book because it just gotten thinking, you know, for a moment. It's like when you said masturbate your life away and waste this incredibly powerful force. I think that just makes a perfect segue into talking about the book. But talk to me about that in a bit more detail, you know, because I think that, you know, we live in this culture where the author, Anna Lemke, who wrote the book,

Srini Rao

your next fix is one click away. Do you want some porn? Do you want some Facebook? You know, whatever it is. But sexual energy in particular, like, you know, is one that I hear a lot about and I've never gotten to have a conversation with somebody like you about it. Like, what can we do with that? And how do we waste it?

Dandapani

You know, Napoleon Hill talks a lot about that in his book, Thinking Grow Rich, which I think is amazing. My guru has a book called Merging with Siva, Siva spelled S-I-V-A, and you can find it on himalayanacademy.com. And he talks in that as a whole section dedicated to the transmutation of sexual forces, of sexual energy. Keep it really, really simple in simple language, um, to create a human being. And you and I, uh, you know, we've known each other, we've met each other at events and stuff. And.

We know a lot of amazing entrepreneurs and people in our life, and you've interviewed a lot of them. Those individuals are made out of one egg and one tiny sperm, right, put together. And lo and behold, you have this person many decades later. How many jugs of sperm has gone down the drain? What if you were to harness that? If one sperm could create one person that could change the world or impact the world in significant ways.

How many jugs of those have we wasted? How many gallons of those have been wasted over decades? What if you were to harness that? What would you create then? I mean, that's one simple way to look at it, right? If one sperm created this person, then what would 1,000 of this or 1 million of this create? And I think that would give anyone some food for thought occurring like, hmm, that's an interesting question. If one created this.

What would one million of these be able to do?

Srini Rao

Yeah, you know, I mean, it makes me think about the time that I've spent, you know, watching porn. I mean, I've interviewed porn stars on the show. But yeah, I mean, nobody has ever explained it to me like that. Yeah.

Dandapani

And again, I'm not dismissing like any of that, right? I'm not dismissing porn, I'm not dismissing this. It's just, again, at the end of the day, it really comes down to understanding. We don't get taught about life in school. When school, growing up, we learned math, science, English, geography, whatever, in the monastery when I went, one of the first questions my guru asked me is do you know how the mind works? And I said no. He taught me how to go to sleep, he taught me how to wake up in the morning, he taught me how to sleep, what should I do when I'm sleeping at night, he taught me.

After I shower, how do I need to wipe my body to put energy back in my body? He taught me how to eat. He taught me how to breathe. He taught me how to sit up. I mean, this is all these basic things that we do every day. We were taught in monastic life. And these are the kinds of trainings that every single human being should have because we have a body, we have energy inside of us. We've just never been taught how it works, how to harness it and channel it. And even, I can tell you even being taught that.

I struggle, I still struggle every day. I struggle, I always work on being better at focusing. I always struggle, I struggle with my mind. I struggle with focusing too. You know, I think I'm pretty decent at it. I can be better. I struggle in managing my energy, in focusing my energy, harnessing my energy. You know, so there's just a lot to learn and then practice.

Srini Rao

Yeah. Well, like I said, I think that makes a beautiful segue into the book itself. You know, the power of unwavering focus. And I think that, you know, one, what prompted this book, but two, as I'm having a conversation with you, the thing that's becoming apparent to me is that rather than sort of the productivity, you know, technology, Cal Newport type approach to dealing with attention and are like the science-based approach, you've taken a very sort of spiritual approach to the same problem.

It's a way that I've never really had somebody explain these concepts to me before. As a person with ADHD, you can believe I've read every book about how to deal with this under the sun, but this was really different.

Dandapani

You know what prompted the book is when I left the monastery, I was in California for a couple of weeks and then I went to Colorado and I stayed with a good friend of mine and her husband and she ran a yoga studio. And I was still finding my footing and she said to me one day, why don't you teach a class in my studio? You share with me some really cool stuff and I think the students in my class would benefit from it. So I asked myself, what would be the first thing I should share?

And I looked back upon my life and when I joined the monastery and what my guru first shared with me and it was about understanding the mind. And he said, if you, he said, in a way it's going to be very hard to work with you Dandapani if you don't even understand how your own operating system, your mind works. So if I had Photoshop and I don't know how to use Photoshop, I can't do very much with it. And I give that example in the book where my friend Michael, who's a certified Photoshop expert or whatever, uh, you know,

takes Photoshop and does really amazing things with it. The mind is no different. If we don't understand how the mind works, how then do we harness it and navigate it and channel it and focus it? We can't. The same way, if I don't know how a car works, I can't drive it very well. If you take a Formula One racer, he can get in a high performance machine, cool, I don't know, 250 miles an hour, whatever it is they do.

in the rain at that speed and have total control over that vehicle. So for me, I feel this is where we need to start. We all have a mind, we all have a body, we should learn how the mind works. And once we learn how it works, it's so much easier to harness it. But when we don't know how it works, it's harder to harness it.

Srini Rao

Well, you opened the book.

by saying the ability to focus is one of humanity's greatest assets. It is at the core of all human success and endeavor, because the ability to concentrate is what helps a person manifest their goals in life. And then you go on to say a focused life is one in which you were able to give whoever and whatever you are engaged with your undivided attention, you're fully present in all your experiences and thus creating a truly rewarding life through your experiences are not driven by a greater over achieving purpose, a purpose

one in which your life's purpose defines your priorities and your priorities drive what you focus on. Your life is very, lived very intentionally. So the funny thing is that we are terrible at this given the world that we live in. I mean, this does not describe the average day-to-day existence of 90% of the people I know. I mean, the funniest example I can think of is my dad.

I called my sister one morning after she had worked a very long shift at night. You know, she said like a lot of crazy things happened at the hospital. You know, she tells him about, you know, some guy almost dying and all this crazy stuff, and then she finishes telling him this like really detailed story. And he says, yeah, by the way, did you get the pictures of my new home theater chairs that I sent you?

Dandapani

Obviously wasn't there, right? Wasn't there? Yeah. You know, we see all these cute Instagram quotes and social media and stuff and be present, be intentional. How can you be intentional if you don't know what you want? We should always start with purpose, right? But in order to find purpose, we need to have the ability to focus. If I can focus long enough on myself.

Srini Rao

Yeah, but that's like the exact opposite of what you describe here.

Dandapani

I can be in a state of self-reflection long enough to look within and get to know what it is I want in life. Once I understand that I can articulate clearly my purpose, once I can articulate clearly my purpose, my purpose can define my priorities, who and what's important in my life, then my ability to focus allows me to stay concentrated on those priorities. When I can stay concentrated on those priorities, I can experience them.

to a greater degree. So for example, in the experience of your dad and your sister, your sister's in the hospital, had a really intense day. A doctor's life is not an easy life, right? I mean, she's there working with people, she's seeing people dying, people hurt, you know. Not the humanity in its best place. Now she's sharing it with her dad, and if her dad can be present, he can truly listen to what she's saying, the tone of her voice.

how she's feeling and then in return, express the appropriate emotion that she may need, whether it's empathy, compassion, support, encouragement, congratulate her for having a really successful day, whatever it is. But if I can't focus, then I'm just waiting for her to stop talking so I can tell you about my homo-stereo system or whatever it is. And I feel that the ability to focus allows us to experience people and things in our life.

which then makes our life so much more fulfilling and rewarding. Why have this conversation if I can't even focus on you?

Srini Rao 

Yeah, absolutely.

Dandapani If I go out for a meal with you and the two hours I'm sitting with you, I can't even stay focused and you can't even listen to what you're saying, then why even bother?

Srini Rao 

One of the other things you say is that we cannot leave it up to our environment to determine what we focus on. The outcome would be disastrous. We must take charge of what it is we wish to focus on in life. We also cannot leave it to our mind because the mind has no ability to discriminate between what is good for you and what is not good for you. That I think really was something that struck me. What do you mean by that? Like, why does the mind have no ability to discriminate between what's good for you and what's not good for you?

Dandapani 

In the subsequent pages, I talk about the mind in a very simplified way. You could break the mind into three states. You have the conscious mind, which is the external mind, tied to the instinctive body. You have the subconscious, which is the intellectual mind. And then you have the super conscious, which is the intuitive mind. The subconscious is the warehouse, the memory bank that stores all experiences and all information and knowledge. Unless the information that comes into the subconscious is processed.

and clear conclusions are formed and organized in the subconscious, only then can the subconscious in turn use that information to guide you to make right decisions. If my mind, my subconscious knew what was good for me, Trini, I would have a six-pack right now. And last night at eight o'clock at night I wouldn't have eaten half that bag of potato chips. While talking to my wife.

Srini Rao (01:02:54.955)

Mm-hmm.

Dandapani

But it doesn't, right? I need to put the right information inside of me. And that right information, when it's processed, clear conclusions are formed, and it's organized in my subconscious, that's when it can turn around and guide me. The super conscious mind, intuitive mind, however, is our all-knowing mind, our deeply spiritual, intuitive God mind, so to speak. And that super conscious always knows what's good for us. But in order to super conscious,

Srini Rao 

Yeah.

Dandapani 

to come to the conscious mind so we can cognize it, it needs to go through the subconscious. And most people's subconscious, most people's hard drive memory bank is a fricking mess. So there's no way for it to come through.

Srini Rao 

Yeah. Well, you know, this is something that also really stood out to me. And that's that you say to understand something intellectually is one thing to realize something is completely a completely different experience. And it's funny because, you know, to your point, you know, with the, with the potato chips, I always have joked that if I could implement every piece of advice I have ever gotten from the guests on this show, I would be a billionaire with six pack abs and a harem of supermodels. I am none of those things.

Dandapani 

Hahaha

Dandapani (01:04:13.179)

I think so. Not even the supermodels?

Srini Rao (01:04:15.152)

I know. And I. Yeah, well, so let's just think about something. This is actually one thing that I come back to when I particularly as it relates to exactly what you say in this sentence. For example, the idea of losing a parent. I've had so many conversations about grief with people on this show. Do you really think I'm going to ever understand what it means to lose a parent until I've experienced it? No.

You know, and I mean to me that that's got to be such a painful experience. I mean, I've had people who've talked to me about losing their parents and, you know, how they get past it. And I'm just like, how are you here talking to me? I don't think I could function.

Dandapani 

Same way, you know, when my guru died, it completely devastated me and changed my life. And it was the, it brought upon me the realization that life is finite. Even though I always knew, intellectually understood that at some point everybody dies, that was clear. I intellectually understood it. I never realized it until my guru died. Because I loved him so much, that experience of him dying brought

a great realization in me that life is not short, but rather finite. I've got X amount of time on this planet. I've got to be super freaking clear what it is I want to do and be really focused on it if I want to live an amazing life. And that realization, like I mentioned in the book, causes a change in behavior. Should I realize one day that eating really well and understanding diet and balance and all that?

Should I have that realization one day, then I would have a perfect eating healthy habit like some people I've met. I don't, I'm vegetarian, I think we eat pretty healthy, and snack here and there every now and then, not very much, but can I be better? For sure. Do I intellectually know this? Yes. Have I realized it? Absolutely not. Because if I have, I would have completely different eating habits. And also different exercising habits, right?

I would have a six pack, I'd be, you know, all that, but I don't. On the other hand, I have realized within me how important the mind is and how important it is to focus and what that does to one's life. That I have had the realization, not only in intellectual understanding, but rather in inner realization and therefore why I am so strict on how I am with my mind and this concept of focus.

So I think all of us have some intellectual understanding and some realizations on different aspects of life, if that makes sense.

Srini Rao 

Yeah. Well, in the law of practice, you

Open up the chapter by saying all of the self-help tools in the world would not do a thing for you unless you apply them and apply them correctly and consistently in your life. And I just had to laugh about that because I feel like I've had so many people try to answer this question for me. Steven Kotler probably gave me the most accurate answer I've heard to date, but you and I were talking about these people who are like seminar junkies, right? They go from seminar to seminar, book to book. And yet somehow they don't actually, you know, convert knowledge into action, I guess, is the real way.

to put it.

Dandapani (01:07:36.235)

Yeah, and you know, you see sometimes on YouTube and these video ads of people standing in front of books showing like, these are all the books I've read, you know, read a book a day, you know, read faster, read these books. I mean, knowledge itself is completely useless, Rene. You know, the library is completely useless unless you can take that knowledge, apply it at the right time. Timeliness is critical. Apply it at the right time.

Srini Rao (01:07:45.95)

Mm-hmm.

Dandapani (01:08:05.531)

to create effective positive change, then knowledge transforms to wisdom. But knowledge on its own doesn't do very much for you. So you can do a hundred courses, a hundred programs, learn a thousand different tools, unless you applied in a timely way to create transformational change and also sustainable change through the consistency of its application. What's the point? I've always taken the approach

and I learned this from my guru, less is better. Learn a few tools and apply them consistently in life. Go narrow and deep with them because they make the greatest transformation as opposed to collecting lots and lots of tools. My guru taught me a meditation in 1995. I'm still doing it today. And one of the biggest questions I get asked all the time, three new people come up to me and go, I've done that meditation. What's next? Have you got another one? You know.

Dandapani 

And that's just the world we live in today. Everyone wants the next thing.

Srini Rao 

Yeah, absolutely. So you talk about this idea of intelligent obedience, which I thought was really interesting, and I think that the one question you bring up here was why ask for advice in the first place if you're not going to follow it? And there are two thoughts I have about this, because I think that there is this tendency to, I guess really it becomes blind obedience, right? Where...

A lot of people don't take into account the fact that prescriptive advice is contextual. The same advice that could transform one person's life could royally fuck up another's. And that to me is, you know, so overlooked in virtually all self-help literature.

Dandapani 

I completely agree.

Srini Rao 

Simultaneously, you also say, you know, that when you say, I'm just going to do it my way, this type of rebellious nature is a clear sign that the instinctive mind has not been well harnessed. Now, let me give you an example. This show wouldn't exist if it weren't for this example. I took a course on how to start a blog called blog mastermind. One of the lessons in that course was to interview somebody as a way to get traffic point of that course was to start a blog, not to take one lesson, deviate from the path completely and turn that one lesson into a business.

Dandapani 

Yeah, no, and again, you know, there's one part in the book I quote my guru where I say, I think it's a little later on the book where I say wisdom, he always used to say wisdom is the only rigid rule. Right. And, and I love that because, you know, there are tools in there. And like you said, some advice and some tools work for some people and some don't. So you always have to use your wisdom in how you apply the insights, how you apply the teachings and tools in your life.

And the same advice, like you said, can help one person and can really screw up another person's life. So that's where wisdom comes in. You need to sit down and look, is this reasonable? Does this make sense? And follow that continuity of thought in your head to see, okay, if I do this, where is it going to lead me? And then make the decision if that's something you should do or not. But not blindly follow someone. That said,

You know, if you take like Napoleon Hill, who spent 20 or 25 years putting the book, thinking, grow rich together. So, so much effort and time when someone like him gives advice and insights, it's worth listening to, and it's worth following and putting into practice. You know, this is someone who's dedicated two decades of his life to, to the pursuit of learning, experiencing, and then summarizing it.

into this book. These are the people that you want to listen to. The self-help overnight guru, well, you might want to think twice about that.

Srini Rao (01:12:04.88)

Let's talk about this concept of awareness because I think that I had never really, you know, heard attention described this way and focus described this way. So you talk about this distinction, you know, between awareness and you say, awareness and the mind are two distinctively different, distinctively different and separate things. Awareness moves the mind does not. The area of the mind where awareness parks itself determines what you're conscious of in your mind at that very moment.

So talk to me about the sort of role that awareness plays in our ability to concentrate.

Dandapani 

So I think first I should say that everybody defines the word awareness differently. So in the context of this book and us talking, I define awareness as a glowing ball of light. This is one example of awareness. At the end of the day, awareness is pure energy and you are pure awareness traveling through different areas of the mind. So as you awareness travels to a particular area of the mind, you become conscious of that area of the mind. So if my awareness, I...

Travel to the angry of the mind. I become conscious of being angry. Am I angry? No, I'm in an area of the mind called anger If I had enough Awareness of myself or as I say in the book awareness being aware of itself And I realized in a place I don't want to be I can then move awareness to another area of the mind and experience something else and And understanding that awareness in the mind are two distinctly separate things are critical

the fundamental concept in understanding the mind and our ability to control awareness is our ability to focus. Because if I can keep my awareness on you, Srini Rao, I'm concentrating. If my awareness drifts away and goes to see what's the bird on the tree outside, then I'm getting distracted. Then I use my willpower and bring my awareness to you. And that essentially is what focus is. My focus is my ability to keep awareness on the person or thing I am engaged with.

right this moment.

Srini Rao 

So let's talk about manifestation because I think...

Dandapani 

Yeah.

Srini Rao 

movies like the secret just mangled the entire idea of manifestation so you end up with all these people basically sitting on their asses staring at their vision boards expecting money to fall from the sky and you say if you want to manifest something in your life put energy into it remember your life is a manifestation of where you invest your energy the people around you the things around you the opportunities around you they're all manifestation of where you have been investing your energy and a testament to the areas of the mind you're aware of.

Dandapani (01:14:27.605)

Yeah.

Srini Rao 

has been spending time in. Whatever you invest your energy in will start to manifest in your life. So what is the difference between investing your energy to manifest things and sitting on your ass staring at your vision board?

Dandapani 

So let's go back to life as a manifestation of where you invest your energy. So the best way to understand that statement I described in the book is to look at energy the same way I look at water. Whatever I water in the garden bed will grow. Water has no ability to discriminate between the weeds and the flowers. So if I water a garden bed, both the weeds and flowers will grow. Energy works the same way. If I put energy into a negative relationship.

or negative endeavor, it will just grow and become more negative. If I put energy into something positive, it will grow and become positive. So whatever we direct our energy into starts to grow and manifest in our life. Now my Guru has a statement which I share in the book where awareness goes, energy flows. So now with my ball of light, my awareness goes to the angry area of the mind. That's where my energy is flowing. So now if you look at energy like water, you could almost say that if you look at the mind as a garden bed for example.

Anger is one God in bed. My awareness goes to the anger God in bed. That's where my energy is flowing. You could say I am watering that God in bed that air of the mind the muscles that area of the mind starts to strengthen my repeated visits to the angry of the mind causes that mind to be Deposited with so much energy that eventually it becomes so strong and magnetic that it has the ability to pull my awareness that

Now, I also share in the book the saying by Tesla that says that if you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. Everything is made up of energy, that energy is vibrating at a certain frequency. Now whatever area of the mind I've been depositing lots of energy in by moving my awareness there is now vibrating at a certain frequency. At some point it gets really strong that I start to attract things of a similar nature to it.

So to say I keep moving my awareness to an area of the mind that's vibrating at 50 kilohertz. I do this 20 times a day for five years. I'm just making up some numbers. After five years, there's tons of energy in there vibrating at 50 kilohertz. I start to attract things that are vibrating at 50 kilohertz towards myself. You know, you commonly hear many people say opposites attract. I think that's a stupid statement and it only works for magnets. Opposites don't attract. Look at all the successful people.

Dandapani 

you've interviewed and that you personally know. Do they attract the opposite people into their life? Absolutely no. They attract similar people because they are energetically vibrating at a certain frequency. Like Tesla says, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. They're energetically vibrating at a certain frequency and they attract people of a similar frequency to them. Now, as you work on yourself and you grow and you evolve,

Srini Rao Definitely not.

Dandapani 

and you just say you go from version 2.2 of you to version 2.5 of you, now your frequency changes and now you attract a different group of people to you. And that's how manifestation works, you know. Everything manifests in the mental plane first before it manifests in the physical plane. Be clear what it is you want, move your awareness there, that's where energy flows. You start to create that in your mind and then it slowly starts to manifest in the physical plane.

But that alone is not enough, right? You still have to do all the hard work. You still have to, I don't know, post have marketing plans, business plans, financial plans, and have a strategy on how you wanna go about it. That's only one part of the equation. I think a lot of the new age is just like, okay, I have a vision board, I put all these pictures up, and the universe is gonna guide me to manifest that. And that's just bullshit, it's never gonna happen. If you don't actually do work in the physical plane to make that happen.

Srini Rao 

Hehehe

Yeah. Ah, I love it. Well, you know, rather than talk about sort of.

you know, attention and distraction, which we've beat like a dead horse on this show. I want to go towards the end of the book, um, where you talk about, uh, two, three core ideas, fear, anxiety, and worry. And you say that when awareness spends a great deal of time absorbed in mental fantasy and daydreaming about the future disappointment, sadness, and depression, depression may follow.

Srini Rao 

what you're manifesting in the physical world. But you also say that having a clear mental picture of the future is a very important step in manifesting what you want. But the work to manifest the future needs to be here and now. And I think this is one of those things every one of us understands intellectually, as we were talking about before, like understanding and recognizing something. So talk to me about one, how you stopped dwelling on the past.

You know, and how do you stop ruminating when something horrible happens? You know, like I can tell you when I've had breakups, you know, I played the breakup in my head every which way, you know, in slow motion, you know, as fast as possible in vivid detail. And the thing that I finally came to after doing that for five months was. Yeah. The only thing that's changed. Nothing has changed. The end result is still exactly the same, despite all the questions I've asked myself about this.

Dandapani

I would say dealing with the past, you know, there's an old monastic tradition that we were taught, I was taught by my guru. If you have an unresolved emotional experience from the past, and I won't get too detailed into it because it'll just be too long, the simplified practice, and you can Google some videos where I've gone more into detail of this, is basically take the problem, write it down on a piece of paper, crumble the paper and burn it up high. The whole idea is moving the emotional energy from the subconscious mind into the piece of paper which you then...

burn away. And it gets a lot more detailed and how repetitively doing that helps work with passing motion. The other way is to deal with it. You know, one thing Srini Rao deal with by getting therapy or something and you know Srini Rao a lot of people say to me, oh I just let go of my past, just let it go. And that's another bullshit statement. You can't just let go of something unless you're actually dealing with it and working to resolve it, it never goes away.

Every experience you've ever had sits in your subconscious until you go in and resolve it or deal with it in whatever method that you choose but um And I think that's a really critical thing to understand but here when you when you're talking about um The About manifesting the future the visualization of the future is critical having a clear mental picture of what you want. For example

I'm in Costa Rica right now. My wife and I are building a spiritual sanctuary and a botanical garden here in Nusara in Costa Rica. We've had this vision for 10, 11 years, 12 years since I left the monastery. I wanted to create this. I had a very clear mental picture, but I don't spend more of my day with my awareness in the future, just visualizing what is I want to create. A great amount of time my awareness is spent in the here and now.

planting trees, we planted four to five thousand trees, building roads, pathways, putting electricity, water lines in, building our structures, steps, gardens, so much of the work is done now. The visualization helps guide which direction the work should be done in. But I think a lot of people just think, okay, if I just visualize it, then this is gonna manifest and don't do the work in the present that needs to be done to actually manifest it.

Srini Rao 

What about worry? Worrying about things in the future? Like, I'll give you a personal example. And 40, I think I turned 44 this year. I'm like, wow, I'm still not married. And part of me at times worries. And then part of me is like, okay, that's not gonna change anything.

Dandapani (01:23:03.851)

Well, worry is future based, right? So, you know, in the book, I give a really nice story I share about something my group had shared with the monks and in his book, how when he was seven years old, this was back in 1934, and like Tahoe, he was coming back in the family car, and it was snowing really heavily, and he was worried that he was going to miss his very favorite radio program. And back then, if you missed it, you missed it, there was no like internet or anything like that. So he saw his awareness, leaving the present moment as well, like going into the future in his mind.

creating a situation in his mind where the car got stuck in the snow, then his awareness came back to the present and started worrying about the future he had created in his mind. He kept doing this a few times and then finally realized that he asked himself, are we still moving? Yes. Does it seem like are we stuck in the snow? He would answer no. And does it look like we'll get home in time? And he would say yes at this speed. Yes.

I'm not going to miss my show. Then he realized I'm all right now that worry and fear are future based. If, if you look at all the things in your life that you worry about, or you fear, you'll see that they all live in the future. I'm worried that my business will fail. I have a sale coming up for my business. And what if we don't sell enough books or courses or products, the sale, because the economy's going through a difficult time.

that's awareness going into future, conjuring up something, coming back to the present and worrying about it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go into the future and think of negative situations or potential negative outcomes. You can, if you, then when you come back to the present, the goal is to find solutions for those things, not to repetitively think about negative outcomes and have no solutions for them or do absolutely nothing about them. Does this make sense?

Srini Rao Yeah, wow. Yeah, no, absolutely. I mean, I don't think I've ever, yeah.

Dandapani So in the case of you getting married, you know, like your awareness goes to the future, you go like, oh my God, I'm kind of 44. When this goes to the future, you're 54, and you go like, shit, I'm not married yet. When this comes back to the president, starts worrying about it. That's worry. But if awareness comes back to the president, says, okay, I need to call my grandma, I need to call my mom, all the aunts I know, I'm gonna find me a nice Indian bride. You know, I need to get to work. Now you're finding a solution.

Srini Rao 

Yeah. Well.

Well, they've all been useless. Trust me. I attempted this at my sister's wedding. I thought to myself, well, you know what? I have a captive audience and I give really good speeches. So I'm gonna basically call their bullshit because I knew obviously if I don't do this now, I'm gonna get asked all night when I'm getting married. So I literally opened the speech by putting up a picture of my phone number on the screen and said, you know, for all of you who wanna know when I'm getting married, you can all text profiles, pictures and all other relevant information to this number. I'll expect a full report on your progress by the end of this week. Now let's get to why we're actually here. They were the worst unpaid employees in the world.

Dandapani 

I love it.

Dandapani 

But that's the difference with the worry, right? I mean, like worries when you allow repetitively to go into the future, come back to the present and then worry about this thing you've conjured up in your mind without doing anything about it. And all of this comes because awareness is unharnessed. Srinu, we don't have enough control of awareness. So we let it travel to the future, conjure up stories in our mind, and then come back to the present and worry. Every time you see awareness traveling to the future to do something similar, to create negative things in the mind,

bring that ball of light back, keep it in the here and now and say, okay, I'm not going to allow myself to do that. And if I'm going to conjure up in my mind, a potential negative problem in the future, then I'm going to do the cost, the right thing, which is to find a solution for that all potential solutions.

Srini Rao 

So there are just a few more things that I want to ask you about. One was this idea of not finishing things. And you said awareness going from one unfinished thing to another in an uncontrolled way causes anxiety. But it's not only unfinished things. Allowing awareness to jump from one thought to another in an uncontrolled way can also cause anxiety. Because it.

Dandapani 

Yeah.

Srini Rao (01:27:15.84)

You know, it got me thinking about something my dad told me, and you, you probably know the story as a Hindu priest. He told me this story from the Ramayana, um, where, um, Robin who, you know, for those who are not unfamiliar is kind of the, the villain of the story and he's incredibly powerful and, um, he had this plan to build a ladder into heaven or something along those lines. I may be butchering the story. So you correct me if I'm wrong. And you know, when he dies, um,

Lakshman Rama's brother goes to him and he said I always thought I would have time to do it

Srini Rao 

Now, I don't know if that's entirely accurate. I may have butchered a few details. You might know the detail more. But it just got me thinking about even the small things that linger in my inbox that I know I need to do.

Dandapani 

Well, I think it's definitely much harder in today's world where we're inundated with things coming our way, right? Text messages, emails and things. So to actually, if I were to answer every single email in my inbox, I would just never do anything else in my life. So again, wisdom is the only rigid rule. And the whole idea, you know, there's two things here, but thoughts you brought up. One is finish what you begin. And the second one is,

Awareness jumping from one area of the mind to another is what causes anxiety. So if I had multiple projects and I allow my awareness to jump from Project A to Project B and I go like, oh my God, I have to send a check for Project B, then I come back to Project A, I keep working on Project A, then I jump to Project C, I keep working on Project C, I come back to A, then I keep jumping to Project D, that's what builds anxiety. And here's a simple experiment that all of you can try.

make a list of 10 things that you need to get done in your day and mentally move awareness through each of them and outline all the things you need to do for each of those tasks, you'll find very quickly you start to have anxiety build up in you. You're like, oh my god, I gotta pick dinner, I gotta get this, I gotta pick up my kid, and then I gotta return that email, I gotta set up that call, I have to do this for the meeting, and that's how anxiety comes. And again, once you understand how awareness in the mind works,

and what causes anxiety and what causes stress or fear or worry, then it's very easy to overcome it. We struggle to overcome anxiety, fear, stress, and worry because we don't understand how the mind works. But once we know what causes them, we can do what we need to do to prevent it from happening. Does that make sense?

Srini Rao 

Yeah, that makes complete sense. Wow. Well, I have two final questions for you. One that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this, but one that I need an answer to because you're a Hindu priest and I am always mystified or irritated by questions that I ask people, particularly my parents about Indian religious traditions where there are no answers and I'll give you the one that to this day makes me laugh. 

Srini Rao 

For most of my life, I was taught that you don't get a haircut on Tuesday. So one day, being the smart ass that I am, I decided to finally ask my parents. I'm like, okay, we've kind of blindly followed this and it has something to do with religion. Why the hell don't we get our haircuts on Tuesday? They didn't have an answer. They're like, I don't know. Like, for example, another crazy weird thing that, you know, my parents do is when we buy new cars, we drive them over for lemons.

Dandapani 

All right.

Srini Rao (

And in my mind, the only logical thing I could think of was okay, they just wanna make sure the car is not gonna be a lemon. But these are all very strange things, right? But the haircut on Tuesday thing, I was like, I'm not satisfied with this answer, so I am going to actually do some work to find out. Then I went to an ashram in India at the Mantra Surf Club, which is a surf retreat slash ashram, and I asked.

Dandapani 

Ha ha 

Srini Rao 

one of the guys there, I was like, Sean, why don't people get their haircuts on Tuesday? He said, dude, barber shops in India are closed on Tuesdays. I'm like, I've lived in America for 30 years. You're telling me the reason that, you know, my parents are blindly calling this some sort of bad omen is that barber shops are closed. And I asked my dad once, I was like, have you ever gotten your haircut on Tuesday? He was like, yeah, I was really busy that week. I'm like, wait, what? And so finally, I, you know, decided to go to Google. And the answers on the Quora thread were,ridiculous. People brought up the barber shop being closed. One said, barbers need a day off too just like everybody else. And in my mind, I'm like, okay, this is ridiculous. So we basically blindly follow these traditions. And I thought to myself, wait, so some, you know, villager, just as a joke on his friend told him, you should never get your hair cut on Tuesday. And thousands of years later, people believe this.

Dandapani 

I think you and I would be amazed and blown away how many things that we do on a daily basis was probably said by some idiot somewhere down the line who didn't want something to be done right that moment. So he came up with some rule and people just followed blindly. I mean, there's thousands of things. I know my grandmother used to say, don't cut your nails inside the house. It's like, you know, it's evil or there's bad spirits. So you shouldn't cut your nails. No, cut your nails at night. You know.

Srini Rao 

Yeah, oh that I actually got a logical answer to from a friend.

Dandapani I know, not enough light and like you might cut your finger or something.

Srini Rao 

Or, no, not that. You might, because it was around dinner time and you didn't want nail or nails or hair to end up in the food. And I was like, well, that makes logical sense to me.

Dandapani 

Right, but there's so much of this that people don't have answers to, right? And, you know, there was a monk in the monastery who had this really wonderful insight and he said to me, reason shouldn't end where spirituality begins. And I really love that statement. Reason shouldn't end where spirituality begins. And I think a lot of times in religion and spirituality, we abandon reason and logic and they shouldn't. I think.

reason and spirituality should be aligned and not separate. And if you look at most religious things and spiritual things people say, this is not reasonable, very unreasonable. Like the statement people say nowadays that the universe is gonna guide me. And I go like, what do you think Pluto, Jupiter, and Uranus are sitting around trying to figure out your life for you? No, they're not. Figure out your own damn life.

What do you mean the universe is gonna help you?

Srini Rao 

Amazing. Well, this has been brilliant and just packed with so much thought-provoking insight. So I wanna finish my final question, which is how we finish every episode of the Unmistakable Creative. What do you think it is that makes somebody or something unmistakable?

Dandapani

I would say...someone who knows what they want in life and is aligned in living that, in living what they want in life and living knowing who they are and living and being authentic so to speak. I would define that by seeing someone who has clarity around purpose, someone who has clarity on who they are, what they are and is not ashamed to live that way.

I think that makes someone quite unmistakable.

Srini Rao 

Beautiful. Well, this has been truly one of my favorite conversations I've had this entire year. You have just given me so many valuable insights and it's been funny. It's been thought provoking. It has been beautiful. Where can people find out more about you, your work, the book and everything else?

Dandapani 

No, thank you, Srini Rao. You're very kind.

Dandapani

The best place would be my website, which is Dandapani.org. That's D-A-M-D-A-P-A-N-I dot O-R-G. Has information on my book, the project here in Costa Rica that we're creating, my app, my courses, and lots of free content and things like that. And I also have a weekly email that goes out so if you're interested in subscribing to that for free, you're welcome to as well.

Srini Rao

Beautiful. And for everybody listening, we will wrap the show with that. Amazing. That was unreal. Dude.