J.R. Martinez | Part 2: Survival, Strength, and Spirit in the Face of Adversity Part 2

Srini Rao: Moving on from your dad, I think that one of the other things that really struck me about your story was the influence that football had on your life. And you say that in a town like Dalton High School, sports brings a community together, and football is huge. Football means a sense of honor, pride in tradition, buzz Biers.

Bestselling book, Friday Night Lights in Account of School in Dillon, Texas could have described das in Two. And it's funny 'cause I grew up in, in Bryan College Station, and it was a similar vibe. It's not as intense as maybe say a West Texas or small town, but talk to me about that experience.

Because I think the thing that struck me most and probably why I fell in love with Friday Night Lights was that it was such an accurate depiction of that whole experience because I've seen it firsthand. I was in marching band and I remember watching that show thinking, I'm like, I can match one character to every single student in the school that I was at till ninth grade.

And I could tell you, each one of them was like, oh, this guy was Smash Williams. This guy was li this girl was Lila Garrity. I literally had it. So tell me about the impact

JR Martinez: that, that, that had on your life. Man sports and specifically football. Which was the sport that I played consistently since I was a kid, man.

It was my lifeline and it was a thing that kept me out of trouble and was I the kid that was athletic enough to go to the pros? No, but here's something that I think is really fascinating. So when I was I was born in Louisiana, grew up in Arkansas, and then moved to Georgia my senior year of high school.

And so a lot of people when they hear that, they think military family, and I'm like, Nope. Just looking for better spaces, opportunity, job opportunities for my mom, et cetera. When I started playing football, I was in Arkansas and I was around nine years old when I started playing. And it.

Listen, there was a lot of, and we've already impacted a lot of my youth and sort of the challenges that I experienced, but there was a lot of adversity, right? And so I was one of the first Hispanic kids in the community where I grew up in Arkansas. There was a lot of bullying. There was a lot of me getting my ass jumped and kicked just by, then there was more Hispanic kids that rolled into the community and then they would whoop my ass because I wasn't cool enough for them. And I was just kinda like this easy target because I was by myself and sports was the escape for me. Football was the escape. Football was the opportunity for me to get away.

And I remember I got into trouble when I was around 14, 15, 16. I would stay out late and I wasn't doing anything crazy. I was just hanging out at my friend's house or hanging out at the park or hanging, running around in the streets. But I wasn't doing anything illegal or committing any crime or anything.

But my mom had this fear. Being a single mother. And so she was always like, you gotta be home by whatever time before it gets dark. And I remember there was a couple times where I didn't come home. I like, I came home after that and my mom and I got into a big argument and she was like, you know what?

If you want to be in the streets to go in the streets. And I was like, fine. And this is like me being a stubborn, tough little teenager asshole. And I was like, fine. And I packed my stuff and I left and I went and stayed at my friend's house. And I went to school every day, still went to school. And I didn't talk to my mom for a couple of days.

Wow. And then after a couple of days, my mom came and pulled me outta school one day, and then we were having this powwow and she was like, that's it, I'm pulling outta football. And she called my coach and said, I'm pulling him outta football. And he said, and trust me, by no means was I. Were they gonna feel the impact of my absence?

I'm like, this team was loaded. Like I was just, I was a personality and I was just a good energy dude. Like that. That was fine. That was it. I knew my role and my coach said, told my mom, don't take him outta football. If he doesn't have football, where's he gonna be? Where's he gonna go? Then he's gonna do all the things you're worried about.

So keep him there. I'll run his ass. I'll, I will take care. I will tire his ass out so much at practice that when he gets home, he has no time or energy to go anywhere else. My mom was like, okay. And football was the thing that I remember being a kid and they ask you, what do you want to be when you grow up?

That famous exercise that people do. Yeah. And I wrote, I want to be a professional football player. That was my goal. 'cause that's what I saw on tv and football was a thing that just kept me away from trouble, man, it really did. And when I moved to Georgia, my senior year of high school, like football was big in Hope, Arkansas.

It was huge. Especially 'cause we had a good team. Yeah. And we went to the state championship or junior year of and I remember I was like, when we moved to Georgia, my senior year of high school, here's what's really cool about football. So I call, I went to this school, there's three schools in Dalton, Georgia that you could have attended.

And everyone told me this is the school for football. This is the school, Dalton High School Oun. And I was like, all so I go there, I take a tour of the school, I like it. I ask the principal, all right, I want to play football. Who's the football coach? She says, here's his number. I call him, his name is Coach McClure.

I call him, I say, hi coach, this is my name. I just moved here. I'd like to try out for the football team. And he says, what year are you gonna go into? I said, I'm go, I'm gonna be a senior. And he says, oh, unless you're a starter or first team sub, we don't take walk on seniors. And I said, that's cool. I understand that.

I said, all I'm asking for is an opportunity. Let me just come and try out. He said, okay. Now here's the thing. I was not a hundred percent, I had injured my ankle in my junior year of football where I had to have surgery on my ankle. And so I wasn't a hundred percent, I just came out of PT and was still hobbling and couldn't really run a 40 full sprint.

So I go out to this practice that was a tryout for me, not for anybody else. And I didn't know anybody. Nobody knew me for all they knew I was a freshman just like they didn't know who I was. And I kept, and I didn't know who any of these dudes were. And I just kept noticing this pattern where guys would make mistakes or some, they wouldn't do something the way they wanted to.

And they would keep their heads down and I would go to him like Hey man, come on man, you got this. Hey next one. Just keeping the energy up. And literally after practice, the coach calls me to his office and he says, I want you to know you made the team. I said how is that?

I'm not even a hundred percent. I can't even do a full sprint out there. He said, you didn't make the team because of your ability to play football. You made the team because of your attitude. Yeah. And I was like, what does that even mean? I didn't even know what that meant, but I didn't care.

I was the senior in high school and this new school I was on a football team. I was gonna have a jersey like that was gonna help me be accepted in the, in, in this new school. And it's a new environment. And it did. But here's the cool thing. If you ever go back and you were to I have it, but if you were able to see footage of Friday night games and you would never see JR Martinez on the field making this big play, oh my God, he is going to the 10, to the five touchdown.

Jr. Martinez or JR Martinez made this big tackle, or JR Martinez saved the game or whatever. No. If you pan to the sidelines, that's where JR Martinez made his presence felt. Seriously. Like I was the dude 100% on Friday night. Like when the energy was down, I stood on the bench and I got the crowd pumped up, excited.

I was like, come on, get loud. When dudes came off the field, I'm like, in their ear before they went onto the field, I was in their ear. I was essentially a cheerleader just in a football match. That was it. And then to the point where I remember and because I was, I'd already been part of a team that went to the state championship, so I knew what it took.

And so I was the only one that really had that experience. So I was bringing that experience over to this team and I was trying to elevate them by just simply just Hey man, come on. Keep your heads up, keep your keep your attitude positive. Like we got like whatever, everyone embracing the role to the point where, I remember when we got closer to the tell end of the season and it was now like, okay, we're gonna go into the playoffs.

Every time you had practice and you scouted against, you played against the freshmens, right? Like the freshmens, if you're on defense, the freshmens were the offensive quarterback running back receivers, linemen. And these dudes are afraid of the seniors or juniors and they're like not going full speed.

And I went to the coach and I was like, coach, let me be tailback on scout team offense. And he was like, no, you're a senior. That's not what seniors do. That's why freshmen and some sophomores do. And I was like, I don't care. They're not running full speed. You think those dudes are gonna just let them tackle them the way that the, so he was like, okay, dude.

I put those pads on. I was a running back and I just started running over our dudes. I just started like laying into dude's chest. And what was really cool is here I was in this new community where it was hard for me to be accepted, especially my senior year. And there's all these expectations.

Senior year, this is what your life is gonna be like, or you expect it to be like. And what was really dope is I'm, that community embraced me, and that's the thing I love about communities that embrace like football, for example, in this case, because they just support you a hundred percent and you really start to feel that community and that camaraderie and that support.

Where I remember it was the first couple months of me being in this new environment. I was in the paper I was literally in the paper and they had this full feature of me because I was this new kid on the team. I was a senior, this is the role I was playing and how impactful it was.

But again, stats wise, I had no stats. Like I barely played. But I influenced that team and we went all the way to the state championship and I could tell you that it was so awesome for, because it was my avenue one, like I said, stay out of trouble, but it was also my avenue to Phil. Like I was a part of something and have a community of people, which is the thing that I've been looking for, my entire youth.

I, all I wanted was to have community and to feel unconditional love. And there was literally, I wrote a post about this the other day on my Instagram and I talked about unconditional love. And there was, I swear to you, at least five people that texted me from Georgia, from that community that said, Hey, we saw this post.

We just want you to know we unconditionally love you. Wow. And these are people that were part of that football community. They were football parents. That had, they have looked at me as one of their own. And so sports, it was it wasn't my way out, like in a sense of I'm going to get a full ride.

I'm gonna be able to go pro one day and take of my family. But it, I, so in. Things in me, and it allowed me to identify certain things as far as identifying your role and embracing that role, even if it's not gonna be the star player on the team, right? It's a team sport. If you're gonna pout and be upset about your stats, then go play an individual sport.

But I was a part of a team and I identify, this is the role I play. I don't need to be that big dude. I don't need to try to be that big dude. This is who I am. It allowed me to understand the importance of having a positive attitude. I got an opportunity because of my attitude, because the way that I showed up, it taught me about leadership.

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JR Martinez: if that makes sense.

That does, yeah.

Srini Rao: Yeah. I So basically in my mind, I'm thinking, so you weren't Jason Street, you weren't Matt Seon probably. You were like a Landry

JR Martinez: clerk. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Land Clark, a hundred percent. Yep. A hundred percent. Yeah. You, so one other question about football, and then we'll get into your time in the military and to your injury.

Srini Rao: So one of the things that I always wondered about, there are two things in my own experience with this. I think we were joking about it the other day, like growing up in Texas, like seventh graders, the size of grown men, like I was an idiot who stuck it had an entire season, but found ways to get out, practice constantly, because the only way you could leave is if you're you needed to be tutored.

I didn't to be tutored for shit. I was a. And then my friend was like, you can be the backup kicker, which basically meant nothing but I still remember to this day, like they do those tackling drills and some kid pushed me back like 20 yards. The whole team laughed and I was just like, all right.

But the thing that never happened was nobody pulled me aside and talked to me about the idea that I could get better,

JR Martinez: right? Even though the coach in eighth

Srini Rao: grade called me that summer, and I remember answering the phone and he is Hey, SRID, it's Coach Powers, and why the fuck is Coach Powers calling Andrea?

He was like, are you coming out for football

JR Martinez: this year?

Srini Rao: Because in our town they split all the we were all in different schools. Every year I was, there we're a different school, like fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth and ninth grade. I went to a different school. The year I got to eighth grade, they built three junior highs, so it was sixth, seventh, and eighth.

And so I was like, oh, I know why you're calling me because when you're fucking like backup, you need a backup for when your students fail. And I'm like I'm not gonna be Matt Sarason. There's just no way. But I think the thing that I realized is nobody ever told me that I could get better, whether it was I played basketball because I was like, okay, here, I'm not gonna get the hell yet.

That I always wondered about and when you see these guys who are in the position, like the quarterback of a team who leads a team to a high school state championship, like what is that guy's mindset, work ethic? What differentiates him from the rest of the team or yeah.

Not to be like obnoxious, but what differentiates

JR Martinez: him from you? Yeah, no it's I coach my daughter's softball team and it's select ball club ball, travel ball, whatever people call it. And I'm constantly cause I connect with that. As far as no one ever said no, approached me and said, this is how you can improve JR.

This is you are athletic enough where you could actually be a good player. You're not getting a scholarship to go to a big school, right? Like you're not Yeah. That's okay. And but I could have played D two ball probably. I probably could have easily done that. And depending on the position, of course, but no one ever approached me and said, Hey man, these are areas that you need to work on.

And that's why for me as a coach to this softball team, I'm going to every single kid and I'm like, Hey, these are areas you gotta improve on. I don't know what your goals are, whether your goals are just to survive this season, whether your goals are, 'cause these are fifth and sixth graders, some seventh.

If your goals are to play in high school if your goals are playing college and now softball's, starting to have a bigger presence, that maybe you could pay this, play this on a professional circuit. I don't know what your goals are, but I'm telling you, in order to get through this season and wherever your goals are, this are the areas you gotta work on.

These are the ways that you have to improve and. And really breaking it down for kids and then giving them isolated reps to help them be able to improve in that area. And it's really cool because then as a coach it's so gratifying to, in a game scenario, to see it come into fruition where you're like, there it is.

You did it. That's what you've been working on. And you can just see their smiles, man and you just like all, and you're just kind of part of a foundation where they feel supported. They feel like they have encouragement, they feel like they have people that believe in them. And that is such a beautiful thing and an important thing for a child to feel.

But I'm also, like I told you listen, we got one of our star players we played recently, and one of our star players, she was upset because she individually was not doing as well as she would've liked in a, in an area of the game. And then what it did is it affected other, like her defense.

So what I did is I pulled her, I pulled, I took her out and I took like our star player out, one of our star players. I took her out and she was pouting and everything, and that's when I gave this speech. I was like, listen. And I like, listen you wanna sit here and pout? Meanwhile, your team is like literally blowing the top off of this game right now.

We're beating in a team by 12 runs. That's incredible. We're having a this is insane what we're doing right now, and you're still over there pouting, can't even celebrate with your team. Then this might not be either the right team for you or this is not the right sport for you. And I think that kids have to, you have to like I think there's a condition where kids, they're coddled so much, right?

Oh, that's a star player. You don't wanna upset them or upset their parents. And I'm like, no, this is bigger than softball. This is bigger than the sport that you're playing. Like you have to understand, you are not bigger than anybody else on this team. You are not. Your skillset is not bigger than it.

It's not gonna allow you to get away with having a bad attitude or being a bad teammate in this moment. We gotta fix this right now. And I think that what you start to identify is which kids are able to bounce back from that. What, how, which kids really want it. And kids that are able to embrace that and then actually say, I got it, coach, my bad coach, I'm an all right coach.

And then turn the turn turn the key and get to the other side of it. I think those are the kids that go off to be the quarterbacks that lead a team to the national championship, state championship, whatever it may be. You gotta have a different gear and you gotta be able to understand that everything is moments in life, right?

It's all moments. And we as human beings, and especially as kids, 'cause they don't have the tools quite yet. They turn moments into permanent periods and it literally turns into this extended oh, this thing is so horrible because of what happened four weeks ago. And you're like, kid as a moment learn from it and move on.

And I think that's, for me, one of the biggest things I try to do is yes, I'm coaching you to play softball and be a better softball player, but we're really talking about life. Yeah. That's really what we're talking about here. Totally.

Srini Rao: It's funny because hearing you say all this, I think back to my seventh grade basketball team where I was like, I was the most improved player, which just, I was the shittiest player on the team.

Not like Jimmy Butler, the NBA, when he's the most improved player. It means something. But I played for two seasons and I stuck it out. And I remember I practiced, like I even my math teacher was like, you're actually better when I got to eighth grade. And I, I guess like for me, the, and it was funny because the team I was on in eighth grade, we lost every single game.

The one game that always stands out in my mind. We played our crosstown rival junior high, and we lost 48 to seven in a basketball game. And you know what, two of those seven

JR Martinez: points were mine. And the craziest thing

Srini Rao: I literally ran, I ran to the side like almost to the three point line, ended up backwards hook like a shot that had no prayer of go again.

My coach was about to yell at me and the shot went in and he was like, correct. He still thought I was an idiot for doing that, but I think you, you share some really valuable insights on that whole process

JR Martinez: because I can tell you, I have talked to probably at least a dozen

Srini Rao: people who are like

JR Martinez: top of their game.

Tim Ferris, chase Jar, every one of them, like high

Srini Rao: school sports teams and you're talking about the team. It's find an individual sport. I'm like, yeah, that's why I surf and snowboard because if I'm having a shitty day, it doesn't bring your performance

JR Martinez: down. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny 'cause I played basketball a little bit too, and I was never the dude that had like handles.

I could shoot a little bit, but I wasn't like a create space guy. I was more of like a spot up shooter coming off, rolling off of a screen and be able to throw it up. And I was like a sh streaky shooter. That was my thing. And then it just a scrappy dude, like defensive wise, like that's I just had that energy.

Yeah. And I remember it was, I think it would've been seventh grade for me, there was this coach, his name was Coach Turner, and he coached basketball, football, he coached track. And this dude this dude didn't cut up with you. There was like but Coach Turner was like that guy that I respected, he was that coach that I respected him and I wanted him to, I not that I was seeking his approval or anything of that nature.

It wasn't that deep, I don't think. I mean it possibly was, but it definitely was one of those things where I was like. I want to do good for him, right? Yeah. Like he was somebody that, I respected his opinion and he coached the basketball team. I'm on it. He puts me in the game. I never forget. I, we run a play.

I'm supposed to come to the top of the, I'm supposed to top of the free throw line and then dish shit out, right? And so I panic, I like freak out. Like I just freeze and I, they pass me the ball. I'm standing at the top and dude, I just turn around and do a fade away like a Jordan. And just literally if I had a hammer in my hand and someone said, Hey, put a nail on that backboard.

That's how hard I hit that backboard. And I, it wouldn't have a shot of going in it just like wing. But my natural reflex was to laugh, not because I thought it was funny, because I was nervous and I was like, I just screwed up. So I'm running literally to the other end of the court. A little smirk on my face.

'cause I'm like, oh, I just screwed up. It wasn't like, oh, this is funny, I don't care. No, it was like I screwed up and it's kinda like this nervous laugh that I had. And literally Coach Turner called timeout, pulled my, sat me at the end of the bed. And I never forget that. I never forget that.

And to your question earlier I think that's why for me, and he never came up to me afterwards and said, Hey man, why'd you do that? Why'd you shoot that shot? You knew the play. Why? Help me understand. And then I would've probably told him, coach, I just got nervous. I just froze up my bad.

I'm sorry. And then he, then we could've like maybe worked on that. Yeah. And for me, I will chew a kid out. I'm like, listen, at the end of the day kids thrive off of discipline. Like they do. I mean there's within reason, right? I'm not saying start beating kids, but. I will tell my kids, including my own on the softball field, I'm like, Hey, you gotta make that play.

Come on. Hey, you gotta hit your cut. Hey, you got it. Whatever it is. Yeah. And, but when they come off the field, guess what I'm doing? I put my arm around 'em. Hey let's step away from the team for a second. Let's talk about what happened right there. Why'd you do this? Why'd you do that?

Hey, at practice, hey, let's break down this play. What happened here? Why did you do this? What were you thinking? And I think that's why I do that so much, because if I would've had coaches like that said, listen, man, you screwed up. All right, whatever. But let's really break it down as to why you screwed up.

Let's really understand, help me understand, and then coach you up a little bit. No one ever did that. Yeah. It was just me just going with it. And I think, when kids are able to have a presence like that in their life that's everything, man. I have kids that I've been coaching.

That no longer play for me, just because I moved to a different organization and I see them in the community and they're always like, coach, they still call me coach. They don't even play softball anymore. But they're, they remember when they were in fourth, fifth, sixth grade, and I coached them how they fell in love with the game and how they there's such good fond memories of that.

Yeah. And I'm like that's what sports has the opportunity to do. Not everyone's gonna have the opportunity to go even play at the college level, let alone go pro. But you do have the ability to play and enjoy the sport and actually learn some lessons that you can carry with you no matter what you find yourself getting into.

Yeah. Wow. And more coaches need to understand that. That's where I think the coaches, especially like in parents because I'm a parent that became a coach, and I'm a parent in one section, but I'm also a coach. Like half the time. Someone the other day was like, how's your daughter doing?

And I. She's good. She's good, but I really haven't spent a lot of time thinking about her. 'cause I had to think about 11 kids and but I know she's playing well. But I couldn't tell you stats. I couldn't tell you. Like I just, because I'm thinking of the 11 girls. And I think that's the problem when you have coaches that when, especially when you get to a certain level and there's compensation involved where they're just focused on their job and you're missing the mark, you're missing the mark that we have one kid, she's probably the 11th best player on our team.

She's probably spot number 11. And one of our tournaments, man, we were playing a high ranking team and we're in the championship game and it's intense. It's close, it's a defensive battle. And she comes up to bat and I and I'm like oh. And I'm at third base and I'm. Trying to give her simple tips so she can make those adjustments.

And dude, she not only came up with a huge hit that drove in runs and gave us the lead, then on defense, she's in the outfield and the ball smoked to her. And every time she would be in the outfield and the ball was hit to her, I'd always oh come on.

I'm her dad, like her mom. And I'm like come on. And then she made the catch. And I was you literally won this game for us. But you don't know how many, how much time I invested in that kid. I didn't deflate that kid until her, God you're just here just to practice and give us an extra body.

Like I encouraged that kid and I worked with that kid, and that kid at the very end helped our team win a championship. And that kid's gonna carry that for the rest of her life. And that's what it, that's what it should be about. When you find yourself in a position. To influence kids playing sports.

Wow. Let's talk about the military in particular,

Srini Rao: and I think that we'll just, we'll get into your injury from there. I think what I'm always curious about when I talk to people from the military is what is the difference between what we see on TV and the news and in the movies versus the reality of what's happening on the ground?

JR Martinez: What do we not see? Man? Man one and not to get too heavy into this, but I think one of the biggest things you don't see is you don't see a lot of the pain. That's obviously a big talking point in our, in the military space as far as from a mental health and just really just being there for each other.

And you don't see that on depicted in films or in TV shows. It's. But it it's there, man. You see it all the time. Guys break down, guys hurting because somebody got injured, because somebody unfortunately made the ultimate sacrifice.

And that's not shown enough. And I think people just assume that we're just, we're we're trained so well that we can just be robotic and just go through the motions and just show up. And that's just not, that's not true. We carry that stuff because of course, we're humans. I think probably another thing is how mental, like everyone, I think, understands physically how hard it is to be in the military.

Listen I would say every job, but yes, there are some jobs that are not as physically demanding or even mentally emotionally demanding as others. But for the most part, people don't understand how mentally, like mentally like it. How difficult that is, right? How think about when you go to basic training and you literally have and I was an infantryman.

I was front lines, I was trained to fight. Now listen, I joined the military. I was in high school, a senior year of high school when nine 11 happened. I'm not gonna say it was the sole reason why I joined the military. It was part of the reason why I joined the military. I wanted to give back to a country that I was indebted to that had given so much to me and my family, my mother's from Central America, my father, as is from Mexico.

I understood and I had perspective as a kid of the importance of protecting and defending this country and doing something, doing whatever I could to contribute to that. I also knew the military was an opportunity for me to travel, for me to get money for college. There was just a, it was just a win-win at that stage of my life.

And so I go off into the army and I enlisted for three years and. I remember I picked infantry 'cause I was like, shit, I wanna go fight. And I go off to basic training. And literally the first three-ish weeks you got grown men in your face just yelling at you. Literally like making you do every exercise that you could possibly think of for literally hours.

And then okay, go to bed. And they turn off the lights and you literally, 11 minutes in you're finally falling asleep and they kick the lights back on. They come in banging like trash cans and getting you up. The mental exhaustion all they're doing is Hey, we gotta filter out the people that can't cut this.

And there's one dude I can't remember. I can't tell you how many guys I remember seeing cry and that was the first time I had been around a bunch of boys. As we were still young men, boys, were crying. One dude pissed himself. We I mean it's. And it's like you just don't understand mentally what it does, and they have to strip your mental identity of who you were and to allow the room to train you to become a troop, a service member, a soldier, a sailor, a marine, an airman.

They, that's what they have to do. And think about this. And this is something that, and I feel like this is a space where I can share this. I don't share it for every space because I don't think it just, it's just not for every space. But I remember when I deployed to Iraq, and this is six months after I enlisted, and three of those months I was in basic training.

And one, like two and a half weeks I was home for the holidays. And then I was in my unit for two and a half-ish months before I deployed. So it all happened fairly quick for me. And I remember as we were going through. Briefings of situational. I remember they said, when we're on a convoy and people, what they will try to do is they will sacrifice the, either themselves, they will sacrifice women.

In some cases they will sacrifice children. And as you're driving, they will try to stand in front of your Humvee. 'cause the goal is to get you to stop because then you're a target. And I remember my sergeant, as I'm sitting there listening to him, he said, guys, you don't stop. And I'm like, wait, what?

And I, it literally raised my hand. I was like, wait, clarify that. What do you mean? And he's you don't stop. He's doesn't mean you put a push on the gas. It doesn't mean it just, I'm just saying, you just you nudge him, right? You just just keep it moving. You can't stop because now you put yourself and everybody else at risk.

And I'm literally trying to wrap my head around how, three years ago I got my license and very clearly it said that pedestrians have the right of way and you have to stop. Even for the jerk that doesn't even wait for you to like just de decide, oh, pedestrians have the right of way so I can just walk into the street and if you don't stop, or then they look at you like, what are you doing?

And you're like, dude, just because you have the right of way doesn't mean you just walk out into the street. You also have to like there's rules to this nonsense. But over there it was like, no. And think about what it takes mentally to recalibrate your mind to go from a civilian kid to now being in combat at war and understanding that strategy.

That's the stuff that I think people really don't understand. They don't think about like when I was injured and I'm not trying to get too ahead. No one could right away come to my aid. They had to wait and set up a perimeter to make sure that no one else was gonna try to help me and then they were gonna get injured.

Because the way strata, the way war works from a strategic standpoint is, listen we wanna save our guys, but we can't just rush in because what happens if someone else, it's an ambush. What if someone else gets injured? What if some, something happens to somebody else? Now, instead of us losing just Martinez, now we've lost Martinez and whomever else.

And wars is all about numbers. We need bodies. We can't afford to lose two people. You gotta set up a perimeter, you gotta see what's going on and really assess the situation. And then once you cleared everything, then you can try to, but at that point it could be too late.

Just think about mentally what that does. Think about how service members, men and women, depending on your field, live with guilt because they're like, man, I wasn't able to help that person quick enough. Or it's, that's the stuff that I don't think people really understand. And the reason why I think that people don't understand that is because it's evident when service members come home and they're dealing with a lot of the, this guilt, a lot of the mental health, a lot of the trauma they've been exposed to, no one's, there's really no services there to support them and help them to cope with that, to deal with that, to address that so they can go on and hopefully live somewhat of a productive life in a civilian world, as we call it.

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Yeah, I I did a a training session for a group of people who were retired Special forces guy. One of my listeners ran a nonprofit that helped them transition to civilian careers. And the thing that I kept hearing over and over again was like their, the biggest thing I remember this guy told me, he was like, I don't have my gym anymore.

What I got the sense was the community that had helped them have this identity was gone. And that was like the hardest thing for them was the fact that, and I asked a friend, another friend who was in that same group who lived close by, had surfed with him a few times, and he said, the thing is that, like you go through that experience together, he said, there's no company, no organization where you will have that kind of bond with people.

And that's one of the hardest transitions that they have, that people have to make.

JR Martinez: Yeah. Tell me about the injury because I think that's what was the impetus for the book and everything else. So what exactly happened? I know what happened, but

tell the listeners what happened.

Yeah early on we were and I'll share this quick story with you because I like to believe that I live with intention and although sometimes I get away from it, but for the most part, I like to I like to show up and live with intention. And I think one of the things that I've identified is that the reason why every time I have an interaction with somebody, people feel like, man I had he made me feel like I was the only person in the room.

And people say that I'm approachable and all these things and there's a reason why. It's because I have felt how different people have impacted me and I know what it did for me. And so I try to. Be that to other people. So I remember like early when I was deployed a couple of my sergeants

just not accessible. And what I mean accessible is just emotional. Like they just even as a leader, like they dismissed a lot of things, the questions that I would ask. And I just try to understand war and combat. And it got to the point, man, where I was like, you know what?

I'm tired of this. I don't wanna do this anymore. I can't wait till my deployment to be done. And I just kept going through the motions every day. And then one day getting a briefing by a commander and this guy literally talked about this. He introduced the concept of service to me. He introduced this concept of being a part of something bigger than myself owning your role.

He introduced all these different concepts and I remember walking away from that briefing and thinking to myself man, no wait, I'm making a difference here. This is dope. And then that one man gave me. That excitement again and that joy about being in the military where I was like, you know what?

I want to do this for the next 20 years of my life. And when I come get home from this deployment, I'm gonna go to ranger school. I wanna go be special forces, I wanna be airborne, I wanna be pathfinder, I wanna be you name it, I want to do all those things. And you like, there's those, there's two sayings, right?

There's a you touched on there's two sayings. Either one, the Mike Tyson route where it's like everyone has a game plan until they get punched in the mouth, or there's the faith-based route where you plan, God laughs, like whatever it means the same thing. So of course I make a plan thinking this is what I want my life to be.

And then on the 5th of April of 2003, we're escorting the convoy to a city called Carala. So essentially our job early on, a lot of what we did was people that weren't in the, a specialty of fighting. They had other specialties they would need to get from point A to point B safely.

And we were one of the units that were in charge of, essentially think about a barricade. Think about the escort that a president gets receives every time they travel and how you have these cars surrounding him. So you're gonna be that first line of defense, you're gonna be the one that's gonna take the brunt of anything that tries to happen.

Any sort of threat. That's what we did. We essentially we knew the route, we had the weapons, we had the training, and we just constantly just surrounded this convoy and protected these people who these people were, didn't really know. But I just assumed that there were people that were gonna go help other people.

And they were right because they were our military. And I took pride in that man. And I remember on the 5th of April of 2003, I was driving a Humvee. And we escorted this convoy to where they needed to go. And we thought, all right, we're done for the day. We're gonna drive back to our base camp and then wait for next orders, which is gonna be the next day or whatever.

And we were told to pull over because we were gonna have this new mission. We had to go secure this area, but there was no real route. So we had to, our commanders had to figure out our leadership, had to figure out a route. And I remember we're all outside of our Humvees and we got our weapons and it's a hot day.

And I just remember like leaning up against my Humvee and the sun is like just draining the life out of you, and I'm just getting tired. And finally I remember they said, all right, we have the route. Everyone getting your Humvees Martinez, you drive. Yes, Sergeant. And the lieutenant was like, this is the route we're gonna take.

And the sergeants were like, Hey, sir. Those routes haven't been cleared yet. We shouldn't go that route. And he's pretty much pulled rank. And he said, listen, I outrank you guys, you listen to me. That's the route we're gonna take. Now there's a reason why this is so important because that lieutenant smoked me one day while I was in Iraq and gave me this whole briefing about how we're a brotherhood and how we stick together.

We're always got each other's backs in the battlefield and beyond, right? So here I am, get in the driver's seat, three other guys in a Humvee. The passenger was like that Coach Turner personality, right? Like it's a guy like you, respect you you want to get his like approval. He was a quiet dude, didn't say much.

And I just, and he was the one, the commander for that particular Humvee. There was a guy sitting behind him and then there was the gunner. It sits up and up on top of the Humvee with the 50 cal mounted up top and. And we cut up in the Humvee and like I always tell people when you're away from freedom and family and friends, the thing that comes in to replace those things is humor.

And you gotta find ways to just distract your mind a little bit and just laugh at silly stuff. Things that you probably would never laugh at about at home, but you gotta find something. And I just remember I was just like clowning around, joking, just cutting up like just cutting up like just going through the motions and then all of a sudden, boom.

And what happened was the front left tire, the Humvee that I was driving, ran over a roadside bomb. Lemme tell you what's so important about that is, so it ran over a landmine essentially when I deploy, when I knew I was going to war. I can honestly tell you, and maybe it's just me being naive, I was never afraid of being shot.

We had to train on hand-to-hand combat. So guess what? You still had a. Right knife you still train in case you didn't have your rifle on you or whatever. You still used your bayonet, like you still had that. And so you trained on hand to hand combat. I was never afraid of getting stabbed.

I never really even thought about losing my life. The one thing that terrified me to death was a landmine. It just terrified me because the concept of it is, it's buried, it's camouflaged if it's done right. And when pressure's applied and then released it detonates. And that just terrified me. And as much as we went through the training, I would always find myself avoiding that training.

Like I would I would always get to the back of the line. Like I didn't like messing with them like, 'cause you had to learn how to diffuse them. I didn't like doing any of that stuff. I was like, I don't. Landmine scared the hell out of me, man. And that's how fear works. You give something so much power and it becomes the thing that ends up halting your life, paralyzing your life.

In some cases, alm taking your life. And that was the thing that literally halted my life. Rerouted my life, almost took my life. So there's something in that I just want people to listen to real quick, as I continue with the 5th of April, after that explosion, three other troops were thrown out of the vehicle.

They all walk away with minor physical injuries. Like the passenger has shrapnel in his body and I think in his hand the gunner was thrown out of, thrown up into the air and he landed and messed up his legs and he had to come back to the states to recover from that. But then he went back like probably three months later, he was back in Iraq with the unit.

The other guy like got shrouded and busted up his lip. All scuffed, but I was trapped inside and we had 50 cal rounds with the 7.62 rounds. It was a huge you're not even supposed to shoot at people with those that's that's against the rules. That's only for like buildings and vehicles and bigger structures.

And those things were heating up and shooting off. We had missiles in the back toe missiles in the back of our Humvee hit heating up. It was, it sounded like a 4th of July show, baby. Here we go. And I'm trapped inside of this Humvee man, and I'm trapped for five minutes, completely conscious, just screaming for someone to please come and pull me out.

And there were several moments over the course of those five minutes where I just kept telling myself, don't clo, don't keep your eyes closed. 'cause my eyes would closed. I'm like, no, just stay awake stay alive. Keep fighting. Someone's gonna come and help you and get you out. And sure enough, five minutes after somebody, two of my sergeants actually pulled me outta the Humvee and the details were, what they did is, 'cause we were in the middle of nowhere and there was no real landing zone 'cause I was gonna have to get airlifted.

So what they did is they threw me on the hood of another Humvee and drove me to the site where the medevac was. And then they essentially took me from there and they put me into a medical induced coma. And then once I was from there stable, I left Iraq and I went to Germany and I was in Germany for three days and I was still in this coma.

They cut my stomach open along with over 30 ish percent of my body having third degree burns. And once I was stable, they brought me back to the United States and I went to the burn center for the military, which is in San Antonio, Texas. And three weeks later, man, I came outta my coma and.

Literally to this. I was like, where the hell am I? Who are all these people in my room? And why can't I sit up by myself? Why can't I feed myself? Why can't I can't walk, I can't feel my legs. Like it was, as you can imagine, just traumatic in itself and confusing. Yeah. And more things came to light in the couple of days to follow, because once the drugs wore off, then you start to have a little bit more clarity and understanding that you're not gonna be allowed to stay in the army.

That you've lost that identity. You've also lost the identity that you've known your entire life, which is your physical identity, your looks. And listen, man I was a dude that just, I relied on my looks as a kid. That was my thing. Like it like I was that kid. And and now I'm looking in the mirror and I'm like, who the hell is that?

And. Naturally you fall into this state of being depressed and angry and resentful and it was tough, man. And that's part of the journey that I think a lot of people don't know about. And where I would tell everybody, I would've been better off. You just let me die.

At least I would've been remembered as a hero. And let me tell you just to so I'm in the hospital initially for three months and there's so many details and things that we can unpack and but I wanna circle back on that whole Friday night lights. And you talked about how football and community and what that did for me.

So again, I only went to Dalton, Georgia for my senior of high school, was embraced, felt love. I remember after three months of being in the hospital, I was allowed to go back to Georgia and just be home. They feel like that's the best medicine. Get you out of this setting and just go home and be around your family and your friends, and then come back.

And I was only gone for a month. And I remember that I was traveling, my mom left a few days before me. And so I was gonna be traveling with the military liaison. I was gonna have this like chaperone this sergeant, she traveled with me, she just to make sure I could do things. And we had a layover in Chicago.

And so we leave San Antonio, we get to Chicago, I get to the gate flights delayed. Flights delayed, and I'm anxious. All I want to do is get home because I'm curious how are people back home going to embrace me? And I'm sitting there at the gate and all of a sudden this guy comes up to me and he says, are you JR Martinez?

And I said, yes. And I said, Hey man, what's up? I'm Chuck. And I was like, Chuck? And he's yeah, coach McClure son. So my football coach in Dalton, Georgia, that was his son who was, just, happened to be traveling back home from a work trip. And here we were at the same gate. So we're cutting it up and we get on the plane, we board the plane.

Now we're not getting into Chattanooga, Tennessee, which is the closest, the airport till 11 o'clock at night. Now I'm disappointed 'cause I'm like, man, nobody's gonna be there. It's late. And I'm sitting like towards the, I'm in the back of the plane and I remember the whole I have open wounds on my body, man.

Like I, if I leaned up against the window like I know this is gonna gross out all some of the listeners, but there'd be like blood just because of open wounds and I wipe it secretly. So to bring no attention. And I remember as we were deplaning, as we got into the jetway, all the people that were on the aircraft seated in front of me were all standing on the sides clapping as I walked through.

And I'm like, wait, are they clapping for me? And the chaperone was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, that's how do they know? Like how do they know? And she didn't answer. And I, somebody obviously told. And I go through and then as I'm coming out of security, I see my coach, I see a couple of my teammates and then my mom rolls up and I see like my friends and I'm just like, man, this is awesome.

So then we get in the car and we're, I drive with one of my boys and my boys has this nice souped up car. And this is early and fast. And the furious was still hot and heavy, right? And so my boys had the the Honda Civic all souped up and everything. And so I'm driving with my boy, riding with him in the passenger seat and we exit and the highway to turn down the main road in Dalton, Georgia, which is called Walnut Avenue.

I remember as we're sitting on the the exit ramp. We're at a red light and all of a sudden cops roll up and cops roll up. And my boy from another car gets out, he comes, opens the passenger door, and he's Hey man, get out. And I was like, what? I was like, dude, we're literally on the X ramp.

He's get out man. And the cops roll up. And I'm like, oh dude, I'm literally going to jail because of my dumb ass friends. After literally five hours of leaving the hospital. And what I didn't see was right behind that cop car was this 1932 replica of a Mercedes-Benz convertible. It was the husband of the high school principal, and this dude looks like straight up, like Colonel Sanders, white beard, white hair, everything.

He has that real deep southern accent. And he's JJR get in the car. And my boy, the one that opened the door, he was helping me get in the back of the car and I realized the police officer was gonna be an escort. So we turned onto Walnut Avenue and man, let me tell you dude, people lined up on both sides of the street at 1130 at night with signs clapping welcome home, like freaking restaurants didn't even display the special.

They said, we're proud of U Jr. R, we love u Jr. R Welcome home Jr. And my boys having to hold me because I'm so fragile and weak that I could fly off the back of this car. And as we're going down and I'm just waving at people and then we start to turn into the, what used to be the Kmart parking lot and I'm like it's over, right?

And my boy says, no, look. And I sw and they later told me there was around 3,500 people and they had this makeshift stage and it was all the dudes I played football with. And they gave me like the key to the city and all these people came up to the podium and said these awesome things about me.

And I and that's what football and sports did for me is it allowed me to find that community of people that gave me that incredible welcoming. And you know what it did man. It instilled in me that if the rest of the world doesn't accept me, doesn't embrace me, judges me, thinks I'm disgusting to look at or even be around the hell with them.

I can always go back to Dalton, Georgia because that community loves me. And that, that, that kind of gave me a little bit of this, me against the world. I don't care. Like fine. 'cause I got people that are my corner. I got people that got my back. It was so powerful and I never forget it.

Even when I go back home and I drive down that street, I vividly remember the feeling. Of having all of those people there to support me and love me and encourage me. And they've just continued to do that throughout everything that I've done. And that's a beautiful thing to have. Yeah. I think

Srini Rao: The misinterpretation, if we stop right there, is gonna be, people gonna think, oh, it was all smooth sailing from brand.

You and I both know that it's not the case. I think one of the things that came up for me as we're going through this, is thinking about the role of image in our society, which is Instagram filtered to no end? And like how we perceive beauty, because I think the, you'd said a couple of things, you already mentioned it, but there are a couple of lines in the book that really caught my attention.

You mentioned Christine Aguilar saying You were beautiful, which only made me cry. I cried for the young man I had been and the person I was now, even though I hadn't seen my face burn face or body, I knew that I probably wasn't beautiful anymore. That hurt as almost as much as the physical pain.

And it got me thinking, you mentioned throughout this conversation that you have a daughter, like when you have gone through an experience like this, like what does it do for your perception of how we as a society view beauty and image And particularly in the context of raising a daughter where we have like teenage girls were like just having problems.

Go warn. I literally saw a special, it might have been on the daily show where plastic surgeons are having girls as young as 15 come in and say, I want you to make my eyes look like they do in my

JR Martinez: Instagram filters. That's, yeah. Yeah. That's wild. I think my daughter I think again, and I will just frequently say this over and over 'cause I think there is power in it.

And I think the biggest thing is you could do is you can just always just model just model. And I don't mean modeling like a model, like Yeah, like literally just. Just go out into the world and let them see you navigate and deal with this stuff. And I listen, I'm open with my daughter in a sense of where I'm telling her.

I'm like, yeah, somebody on social media made this comment the other day about me, right? Somebody said that I, somebody said that I look like an avocado, like a, and I was like, I like avocado, so that's okay. Like I'm, look avocado, love avocado. I eat avocado all day long, bro. Like cool, like whatever.

People say mean shit. So I think the biggest thing is my daughter sees the way that I handle people staring at me, people looking at me. And the thing that I have learned to do is and realize listen man. There was a point early in my recovery where I went down that rabbit hole of I'm never gonna be this, I'm never gonna be that.

I don't look this way, I don't look that way, whatever. I spent all that energy and time worried about that stuff. And eventually I started practicing simple gratitude, just daily gratitude and was able to distract my mind. And I didn't put a lot of emphasis on that stuff. And the more I got into the world, the more I was able to see that, yeah, there's a lot of people that are gonna see some cruel things.

A lot of people that did look at me weird and people that avoided me. There was a hundred percent of that. And but that, but more than that, I found people that were down to, to roll with me, down to kick it with me. And then I started dating. 'cause I was 19 when I was hurt in 20, 21, 22.

And then I was listen I was able to all right, she looks good she looks good, and oh, she's paying attention to me. And okay, cool. And then you just break up because of normal things. And, but it was never because it was like, oh, your scars and listen, there was a level of vulnerability I had to learn in that sense, right?

It's just being able to show somebody my scars like. Outside of what they can obviously see on my face and on my head and on my hands, but like my arms, my back, my legs. And then the more that I got out there, the more I realized it's not even about the physical. It's about who you are as a person.

That's what it's really about. And then fast forward however many years it was after I was injured, I find myself listed in one of people, as one of people magazine's, six Man Alive. And to me it was like when I go on dancing and people are like sending me messages and I'm like, oh, has not, then at that point yeah, I'm not saying that like my scars like, like I'm not attractive to some people.

I'm sure I am. But what I quickly realized for me, which mattered more to me was it's who you are as a person that truly matters. That's sexy, that's beauty. For my daughter. I'm constantly talking to her about the person that she is, about this is who this is what beauty really is. And she sees the way I handle it in public.

She sees that kids come up to me always and they're like, yo, what happened to you? Or people stare in public, or people come up to me and they constantly ask me if I'm seal the singer. And I'm like nah wrong one. Nope, not me. You should say yes sometime. Like you'd see what that, oh dude.

No. I have said yes. So one time, so it started, this one dude started this nonsense of are you seal? And I was like, wait, what? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, no dude. And this dude was not gonna take no for an answer. So I was like, fine, I am. And when I realized that a lot of people out there in the world, like you could tell them like, no, I'm not sealing.

They just, they won't buy it. So I just started, all right, fine. Yes I am. And people were like, go away. And I'm like, cool. And then one day it backfired. I was hanging out with some friends at a bar. I was living in LA at the time. And this dude walks up to my friend and he hands her, which is, this wasn't that long ago.

He hands her, this is like seven or eight years ago. IPhones or cell phones could take very good photos. But this dude had a disposable camera. And and he walks up to her and he's can you take a picture with me and your boyfriend's seal? And she looked at me 'cause two things were wrong.

One, she knew I wasn't Seal. And two, I'm not her boyfriend. And she looks at me and I'm like, just take the photo because he's gonna walk away as soon as you take it. Don't even don't even try to spend time explaining it to this dude. So she takes the photo, she hands the camera to him, and I'm thinking, all right, he's out.

Nope. This dude turns and looks at me and he talks about how my music has been so instrumental in his life and how it's saved him. And he's puts his hands on my shoulders. He's getting emotional and I'm like, all I can think about is, oh shit. Like how do I get myself out of this scenario? So trust me, I've done that. And now after that experience, I'm like, people are like, are you still? And I'm like no. Yeah. But the cool thing is my daughter sees how I'm able to have fun with it. And I, like I said, I'm constantly telling her, there's always gonna be somebody that's got something to say.

I don't care what it is. Somebody's always got something to say. You gotta operate from a different place and that has to be your foundation that you function from. And I think, my daughter has and it is tough. It's a tough society for kids and especially young ladies and.

I think even the girls that I coach I constantly, every now and then will break off into stories and tell 'em stories about you. Just different things and experiences. But I think that they see that like they like being around Coach Jr. Right? Coach JR is cool. Coach JR is fun.

Coach Jr will push them, but Coach Jr has like this gear. Like they, they like that. And I think it's just getting these kids to understand that there's so much more to beauty than a filter than what on social, what on tv, whatever's depicted wherever it may be. And just trying to just show them that listen, just be true to who you are and what you are, and everyone else will find you somehow.

Let's not forget that Seale is married

Srini Rao: to Heidi

JR Martinez: Klum also. Was I that I can't, but it's kinda oh. It's but Greg, if Seale could marry

Heidi Klum, I think I'll be all right. He's got, what, 20 kids with her or whatever it is it's he's doing all right.

Yeah. He's doing all right. And listen, man, listen I've had my fair share of you look at my wife and even when I was dating and it was like, you know what? I did all right. I did all right. And it's just it's just one of those things where it's it's to me, man, I just I, like I said, I just always like to operate from who I am and what, the only thing I know to be, which is authentically who I am and who I want to be to people and rest will take care of itself.

Yeah. That makes a beautiful place to wrap up our conversation. I feel like I could talk to you for hours on end, so I have no kidding. One final question for you, which is how we finish all of our interviews at the unmistakable creative. What do you think it's,

that makes somebody or something unmistakable,

authentically being. Themselves. I think the ability for someone to, to have clarity in who they are, what they want to be, I think is one of the, one of the most powerful and beautiful things, and that you can, you could be right. Just being clear and distinctive about who you are, who you want to be, and not wavering about that.

And not letting anything shake that and just always operating from that place to me is like one of the things that it's just so distinct, so honorable and that's, to me, what I think is makes someone. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to join us and to share your story, your wisdom, and your insights with our listeners.

Srini Rao: This has been really breathtaking. Like I said, this has been one of those conversations that I will go back and listen to multiple times. It was so much fun and I just enjoyed talking to you so much. So thank you. Yeah where can people find out more about you, your book, your work, and all

JR Martinez: that?

I love, thank you for having me on, man. Thank you for creating the platform and sharing it with me, for me to connect with your audience and I'm I love conversations. I'm equally I feel the same way about this conversation. I love conversations and I just encourage people to hit me up on social at Imj Martinez so we can just continue the conversation.

I think social media sometimes it just becomes this thing or, and know, but I love to create connection with people and have conversation with people and have. Provoking prompts for thoughts and and jokes and whatever, but for the most part, just encouraging people to come hit me up on social man, and let's just keep the conversation going.

No matter what it is you want to know. I feel like I'm a pretty approachable dude. Hit me up. All right,

Srini Rao: and for everybody listening, we will wrap the show with that.