Will Day | Letting Go of Expectations to Discover Your True Calling

Srini Rao

total.

Will, welcome to the Unmistakable Creative. Thanks so much for taking the time to join us.

Will Day

Thanks for having me. Can't wait to see where this goes.

Srini Rao

Yeah, it is my pleasure to have you here. So I found out about your story from way of your publicist. When I read the words, you know, former Wall Street guy turned artist, I was like, yes, this is my kind of story. We definitely want to have Will as a guest. So before we get into how you make this bizarre transition from, you know, Wall Street guy to artist, I want to start by asking you, what is one of the most important things that you learned from one or both of your parents that have influenced and shaped who you've become and what you ended up doing?

with your life.

Will Day

I love that question.

I think we learn different things from each parent. Let's start with my mom. And I think her biggest message, she has passed away. And I think about this a lot. She would say to me and to everybody else that she loved that the most important thing in life is to really be you. Be fine, the truest pure, pure soul of what God created you to be.

And once you understand that, believe in yourself, don't doubt yourself, and move forward with it. Because you can't please everybody in the universe. And once you learn that God created you to be this individual, amazing soul, we are all blessed to help each other then. Because then the ego leaves, and you become a pure sense of love. And that's something my mom always shared.

Will Day

There's a lot to that. She passed away almost 10 years ago and at a young age at 66. And I think about this every day. How do I honor that spirit of my mom and that question you asked of like, what did she really teach us? And what do I want to share with the world? And, you know, that first statement I said to you is really important, but there's a lot more behind that. So.

I think the other thing she shared with me was she taught me how not to be blind to the world. And blind to the world means to be open to receive and listen to people of all different types of backgrounds and histories, and so we can learn from each other. And no matter, we judge in our society. I think my mom was able to see beyond that.

and really pass on this human spirit that transcended the now so you can live in the future without fear and be in the present without fear. And I value that a lot and I use that in my studio, in my life, in my relationships with my family and my friends and in my art. And that's something that I cherish.

My father, he's still alive, love him. He taught me so many things too. I mean, he's a fighter. And my dad is a humble man, and he taught me how to appreciate everybody from where they are in their world. So what does that mean? That means if you're talking to a CEO, if you're talking to a janitor, if you're talking to a teacher, you respect everybody for the same level.

and you treat them with respect no matter how much money they have or what history they have. You learn how to talk to people from where they are and see them eye to eye and you will develop these amazing magical relationships. I love my dad and he taught me that no matter where you are in your life and what you're doing and how successful or not, it always comes down to having to be empathetic, to be sincere.

Will Day

be kind but also treat people the way you want to be treated. The most basic element in this universe and he did that and he was the guy that would give everything off the back of the shirt to make other people happy and please them but knowing he was there to say we're in it together. It's not about making people feel bad or showing how tough or cool you are but it's about connecting to each individual.

in a spiritual way that really brings out the best in each of us. And my dad was that gentle giant that when you're around him, you felt an ease and presence of love and kindness. And I work on that hard. It's hard to do. So does that make sense? Hopefully.

Srini Rao

Yeah, absolutely. You mentioned God two or three times throughout the lesson about what your mother taught you. What role did faith play in your life growing up and what role does it play today?

Will Day

I think faith is very important and people use that word very misleading. I grew up in a very strong Catholic family in Connecticut and we went to church often in the 70s. I'm 50 years old now. And there was a different protocol in what we did on Sunday, how we incorporated faith and church into our life. I didn't really understand what it meant to...

interpret the Bible, read it, or just get messages of knowledge and trust. I just walked through the motions. And so I didn't, until I got married at 30, today is actually a special day. That's why I was psyched to do this call. It's my 20 year anniversary with my wife, Amy. And we're still together and happy. And faith was very important for both of us as we look back on these 20 years.

that kept us together. So what it really meant is that it's about a discovery. And if anybody, I'm not here to judge you because God will judge you the way you judge people. So if you take that simple message and saying, we're here to promote love and show what that really means, faith to me is about walking in grace and living with love.

And I think as a young boy, I didn't understand what it meant to have someone that was so powerful in the universe, like God, whatever you believe, there is something that's so spiritual important for all of us as humans to connect to something, not just people, but to connect to something that is beyond bigger than us in our ego. Faith played a major role when I got married.

and it really kind of is the backbone of why I'm still married. And I mean, there's a lot behind it, but...

Will Day

Thank you.

Will Day

I needed help in not only relationships, but also with my...

with my purpose in life. And before I became a painter, I was struggling.

I just was floating and I was not, I didn't have a core purpose and I didn't understand why I was here and what I was supposed to do. And I think by learning how to let go, and this is what I talked about in my TED Talk a little, faith was really the instrumental way for me to learn how to build trust again and not worry as much. I used to compartmentalize and try to control and organize everything, every aspect of my life.

And that does not work. And so when I think we ask each of us to dig inside our hearts and souls, we have to ask one question. And that is, who are you? The other question is, what do you want to do in this world? And once you start figuring that out, you start to have much cleaner relationships with people around you. But also, you start figuring out that life

about the journey. And the journey includes having faith.

Srini Rao

Well, since it's your 20 year wedding anniversary, congratulations, first of all. But what is it that makes a relationship last that long? Like what would you say are the pillars that have led to the success of your marriage?

Will Day

It was just having that conversation. I think as we reflect, no matter what time period is with your spouse or your friend or your family, I think the most important thing in my relationship was trust. We had some issues and I didn't know what that meant. Because each of us in relationships come from different points. We're raised differently, we're from different families, we may speak different languages, we may have different...

religions, but the truth is, once you peel away all these layers, all these superficial layers and some of these important layers, and these history and this baggage, you look purely into the heart of that individual you love, and you'd better be able to say, I trust you no matter what. But not to me, and to, that's what we're working on, and that's what's really kept us to a point of being honest.

And if you don't have that, your marriage or your relationships or your whatever it is, it just becomes hard work and fake and it's just, it's not honest and it's, and it's, and you can't grow from that. You can't grow from a place where you're not trusting each other. And I'm still working on it big time.

Srini Rao

I don't imagine it's just been 20 years of smooth sailing, right? I mean, I'd imagine there are moments that put your relationship to the test. I'm curious, you know, obviously, you know, you don't have to go too personal as this, but like what were some of those and what are the lessons you learned from them?

Will Day

I think, I mean, the first one is getting married. Deciding that you, for me, my journey was, my parents were divorced at an early age in the 70s, which was a really tough period for that to happen in America. Not many in my family, no one got divorced in the town that I grew up in. And so I think I didn't trust people at an early age, and most importantly, I felt abandoned.

Now these are words that are used loosely sometimes in relationships, but to me, those are the two things that I didn't really know I had to work on and I had issues with. And I'm not blaming my parents, I love them and things turned out great, but I came from a divorced family and that was challenging. And then that caused me, it trickled down some emotions that I didn't know I needed to work on.

And when we got married, that was the first real test for me. Do I really trust this woman? What does it really mean? I mean, I'm giving my life to her. Where I don't know. It's just I didn't understand the direction of what that really meant, to really commit as a male to this wonderful woman.

I didn't understand there were some things I needed to still work out. I got married at 30. And I was mature, but there were some hidden things. And I'm like, ooh, let's suppress some of those emotions and feelings. We're doing great right now. And the wedding was amazing. It was great. I think our big test came right before we got married, when all this started trickling up with 9-11. And

You know, my wife worked in tower two, the World Trade Center on the 78th floor where the second plane went in and she was late. And I'd never, you know, the world changed, but our relationship changed. You know, she was safe. She was with me in her condo. And then I've never, you know, the emotions of all this chaos kind of came up. And I think I was not living under a shell or a rock, but...

Will Day

I suppress so many different things like a lot of people did. And that was a major test emotionally for entire world. And for me specifically too, cause I didn't know I actually had all these issues I had to deal with. And we kind of, you know, we went through that process and walked through it without really healing. And it takes time to heal from a tragedy.

And, but that, that motion, what did they say, that, that steer, that, that comes of float a lot. And every year that time period, September 11th, brings back all these different flood of motions and memories and we just try to peel away one at a time so we can keep moving forward and keep trusting and understanding.

why we're together or why, I mean, she should have not been here. She should have been in her office, you know. And so we, I'm blessed, I'm lucky, I had my wife for 20 years. And that was one of the major tasks. There are a lot more, but I think for the audience, for you and I to have talk, I think I always come back to that as the...

you know, as the tiebreaker for me to say, oh boy, I've got some things we need to work on as a team, as a family, as a unit, as a community, as a, you know, as an individual. And, you know, I think it's scary. That stuff is scary. And as I sit here and we reflect 20 years of my marriage, but it's 20 years of living as an adult, you know, cause that time at 30, when I got married, that was like, oh, okay.

I'm ready now. I can pay my bills. I got a good job. I got a wife. I've got a mortgage. I've got all these great things that are calling me responsible. And I was like, oh, I'm not really so great at managing that money. I like to spend stuff. I like to travel. I'm like, how are we going to make all this work? You know what I'm saying? So I think that was the 30 year was when I turned 30. It was like, well, the reality set in of like, how am I really going to share my life?

Will Day

with someone I really don't know, but I love her, and I know emotionally I connect to her, but how do I trust someone that I can grow with? And I think that's a challenge for all of us because we all go through different stages of a relationship. If it's the first day of marriage, if it's year five, if it's having four kids, if it's having your kids leave for college, if it's sickness, if it's whatever it is, there are emotions that we, no one touches.

tells you when you get married to say, hey, now you're responsible. Are you ready for the big leagues? I'm like, oh yeah. You don't even know what's coming. But I think the success of any relationship in our community is to have an open mind and still be curious and open up and be open enough to receive all these new challenges and say it is about the journey. It's not about how much money I made when I was 40 or 30 or.

painting the next million dollar painting. It's about the experience of still exploring with someone you trust, and I trust my wife to the end of time.

Srini Rao

So I know 9-11 was pivotal for you and I wanna come back to that, but I know there's a story that comes before that, which is sort of the trajectory that led you down to becoming an artist. So.

you when you were thinking about a career path when you were younger, I know one of the things that you said that I really related to in your Ted talk was that, you know, if you could go back and give your younger self some advice, you know, damn well, you wouldn't have listened to it. And I think that is the case for almost every one of us. You know, like if somebody came to me and talked to me about purpose and passion, I would have been like, yeah, that sounds like a bunch of new age nonsense. So what was the sort of trajectory up until 9 11 that that, you know,

Will Day

Yeah.

Will Day

Mm-hmm.

Srini Rao

led you to become a painter because I know there's some significant events and you know in between

Will Day

Yeah, I remember. Cut me off if you feel like I'm wandering, you know? I just don't want to be sure. I'm out. I think the trajectory was each one of us is created to do something great in this universe. I came into the universe born in New York City, loved it, and grew up with this awesome family in the suburbs of New York City. And I really wanted to be a professional athlete.

Srini Rao

No, not at all. I would have already done that. Ha ha ha.

Will Day

but my God-given talents were to be this creative spirit and be a painter. I fought that. You know, people can, whatever it is, we always fight something. They're like, ah, I really don't wanna do that. I don't think that's really the right path for me. Or that's not gonna make me money. Or that's not gonna sustain my lifestyle. But I think the challenge we have to face is, as I said, you have to figure out who you are. And one of my most famous...

most favorite writers, authors, historians, whatever you want to call them. Joseph Campbell always said, "'The greatest gift in the universe "'is learning how to be yourself.'" And we know that. And that opens up a big box, I know that, all right? So, but I think the greatest thing we can do for each of us is to respect that journey. Now, some of it seems a little goofy and chaotic and maybe different than what our journey is, but we gotta honor.

the individual spirit's journey. And for me, it was a journey of creativity. Listen, I grew up in an amazing town in Connecticut. I grew up in a suburb of New York City. I thought the world revolved around making money, living in Wall Street, advertising. I mean, I was pretty shallow. And that's okay. I just, that's where I grew up. But I knew I had a bigger call in life.

So it's not because I grew up in the suburbs of Connecticut that I knew I was gonna do all these awesome things. It's everybody is placed here to figure out their journey. Some are more intense than others, but in the end, it's all about each one of us discovering our journey. I did not wanna be a painter, an artist, a creative spirit. I wanted to...

make millions on Wall Street and build my self-ego and worth through the dollar amount that was hiding behind Will Day. But that wasn't my path. I kept going down there and that's why, I mean, I loved working at Wall Street and I loved being in that competitive environment. But something was just kept knocking me down and saying, you need to go over here. I fought it.

Will Day

fought it for so long. And I think a lot of people can say that about whatever their paths are. It could be anything from religious, sexuality, their job choices. We're all in the same boat dealing with that spirit of saying, rise up and be you. And it may not be the norms of society. And that's one of the things my mom always told me, is like, remember, yeah, you grew up here. You may look like this. And you all may be taught this one way. But the world is big out there.

and God has a purpose for each one of you. And the ultimate goal is for all of us is to weave our stories together to bring this power of love and joy, inspiration to each other. And if we start labeling and putting borders and shifting us to these places of control and fear, we're never gonna move the needle for society to be most innovative, most creative, the most loving place.

And so that's what stuck with me. And then I was like, all right, it's time for me to shift. And so after being fired from numerous jobs, which still, I was like, I don't get it. I knew I needed to reboot, to reset. And 9-11 was the reset because before 9-11, I left Wall Street to get a master's in architecture at Pratt Institute in New York.

And I, because I knew something was craving for me to get, to study and learn again. And I thought by getting a higher level degree, that was going to be the beginning of kind of my new chapter in life, which it was. And, you know, there are these little paths and roadblocks that each one of us has to, you know, come to and then figure out, well, which way am I going to go? For me, it was losing my jobs.

getting fired at an early age where I was like, wait a minute, I'm smart, I'm healthy, I'm educated, I'm athletic, I'm motivated, I'm passionate. What is going on here? I shouldn't be fired. I should, I mean, I'm ethical, I'm trying to do my best, I'm respectful, I wanna succeed. And I just wasn't putting myself in the right place to find my path of curiosity and happiness.

Will Day

And once I stopped forcing a square into a peg, I knew I was gonna fly. And that's when we all have to take a chance. And it's scary, it's very scary. My wife married someone that looked like Gordon Gekko on Wall Street. I know, I'm like, honey, how do you like me now? She's like, I knew. I mean, you gotta remember, my wife is amazing.

type A, no nonsense. I knew what I was getting. But she didn't know what she was getting. Remember we talked about this trust and honesty and all this stuff. And I was trying to live and look like someone I really wasn't. So it kind of was presenting myself in a different light to my wife who, listen, let me tell you, has she changed? Of course she's changed. But her spirit and her most important element of her soul has been just steadfast and strong and beautiful.

Now I've had a lot of growing to do and learning, and she's kind of helped me kind of put things in a little reality check for me. And that's been hard. She's been, you know, she's been making me really accountable of things. I didn't want to be accountable for it. And it's no one's fault. It's just each one of us has to figure out how and when are we going to be responsible for these decisions we're going to make and how we're going to affect the people that we love to actually learn how to grow and still...

be present and loving and that's hard to do. I know I diverted, sorry.

Srini Rao

No, no, no.

So there's one part of the story I knew that you didn't mention, which is your time in Tunisia where you learned to speak Arabic, you were a volunteer for the Peace Corps. So the thing that, when I read that and then I read the 9-11 part of the story, what I wondered was that during that time, there was a lot of anti-Muslim, anti-Middle Eastern sentiment that became very prevalent in the United States. So I wonder, when you have the contrast of seeing that your wife,

wife, you know, luckily survived and wasn't there that day, you know, in combination with the fact that you have spent, you know, time in a Middle Eastern country. What was it like to process those two sort of emotions, you know, at the same time?

Will Day

I mean, it's a good question. I mean, my wife is so amazing and respectful and appreciative. So she was just, you know, the first thing, she was angry, she's not angry at the culture, right? She was angry at the action of being attacked. Though the narrative of what the media was saying is a different story. And that's, you know, that's a whole nother conversation. I think my wife was just shocked and upset, right? Like we all were.

But she knew I had an amazing experience living in North Africa and traveling through the Middle East and just embracing the culture from.

from their standpoint, from their viewpoint. And she is a person of no nonsense. And so 9-11 was very tough because my experience living in the Peace Corps was one of the best things I could ever done. Because the truth is, all of us need to wake up and live in some other place that is different than us. And I don't know why we are so fearful to do that.

I mean, yes, some of my best friends and people and things I've learned and a lot of my art and inspiration comes from Tunisia, North Africa, and some of the other places in the Middle East. I mean, like insane. If I bottled myself up and shut myself down, I would not have been able to create a lot of the stuff that brought me joy and inspiration and innovation. And I was like, wow, you gotta remember, I'm a curious person. So curiosity has to string all of us together.

to wake us up to really want to see and listen and hear things from a different point of view. The Peace Corps really is an amazing program, but you know, it's not perfect. And I think for myself, it was exactly what I needed for me to connect to the world, to connect to a culture and history that was really important to Western civilization, but also to art.

Will Day

And as I look back on my journey as I try, because I used to love to travel and I still do. I look at all the places I've been and they're actually, I mapped it out recently and they're places I've traveled to where all these past amazing creative artists have also lived and explored. Without me even knowing it, I was in those places and watching and seeing things that they observed and painted and discovered. And I was like, wow.

But if I didn't have that curiosity or that drive, I would have missed that. If I came with my own intentions, I would have missed all this joy and amazing kind of history and language and putting myself in a place of unknown. That's when the greatest interventions come out. And that's when the discoveries really hit. And so.

to tie two things together, my wife knew that, and it still is a very important part of my life, is that those experiences, the friends I still have, and the places that I still remember, I draw on for my inspiration behind my art. And even at our wedding, we donated money to our village for one of the guys.

that I was working with in the middle of the Sahara Desert. And she was just respectful. And she knows it's all about, it's not about the, you know, what's the word, it's not about categorizing this culture or this religion, it's about people. I don't care if you're Christian, if you're Muslim, if you're Jewish, if you're bad and you're doing bad things to harm humanity, that's not good.

You know, I'm not gonna line with you because you supposedly say you follow this person, but you're doing all this evil. Why would I do that? The joy I found living in the Middle East and learning about them, learning about Islam and Muslim culture was just the most, it was so pure and beautiful. And they have their way of how to shine and love and innovate and be creative. And it may be different the way I grew up, but it's also unique and special. And it's part of our humanity.

Will Day

And we need to embrace that. I forget that a lot sometimes, because I live here in Boulder, and I'm, you know, in a community. And, you know, my kids. Yeah.

Srini Rao

The least diverse place with the most open-minded people.

Will Day

Yeah, so I have to be respectful, right? You and I, we're having a good chat, but you're making me think again. You're making me dream about what I used to have. And you know, I'm a dreamer, I'm a big picture guy, right? But now I'm back, I'm living in my world here of Boulder and I am trying to elevate those conversations and let people start exploring the world through my art.

on places that I've been able to discover historically and bring them into the narrative, that it's not about fear. Look what, I mean, if you look in my studio right here and you see some of these paintings, they bring in so much history of us, North Africa, Arab culture, the Sahara desert. I mean, the lighting, I mean, I go on and on. Some of the artists that I respect and love, they were there too, you know? I mean...

We are all in it together. I'm just building on it now, but no one wants to hear that. They want to hear it's political or it's like, you know, we're gonna, it's like, it's shock and awe. And I'm like, that's interesting, but there is a way to respect the past, bring out the best that's not copying it and really innovate through these experiences of finding the best in each culture. That's what I try to do.

Srini Rao

Yeah, you know, it's funny as I was kind of, you know, reflecting on the conversation that, you know, I are having a few weeks ago, I just happened to turn on a Vice News documentary and it was about the Taliban. And one thing you start to see, you talked about living in a different place, is that what these people grow up experiencing is watching American military do nothing but kill their family members. And so suddenly you start to kind of...

realize that yeah, their anti sort of American sentiment is not because they're evil, it's because they've seen evil and they've experienced evil. And when you see that, you know, not that I'm empathizing with terrorists, but suddenly you're kind of like, okay, now it makes sense why they believe the things they do. Imagine if that was your reality from the time you were five years old, all you saw was family members getting killed.

Will Day

Yes.

Will Day

Yes.

I mean, without labeling that exactly, like who and what category, but your works, we are products of these experiences or history. So that area of the world, yeah, sees something very different than what you and I see, so their narrative is gonna be totally different. I don't understand it, but I know I tried to put myself in place to learn about it, and that's why I went into the Peace Corps, and I did see some things that were...

very different than what the media told me, because I wanted to have an open mind, but I also wasn't there to conquer. I was there to listen and learn how to love and be part of humanity without having a big picture idea of conquering, right? So I think it's very hard, and most people don't wanna take the effort to listen and sit down and have those conversations. Now, I'm a big picture.

Yeah, I'm peaceful, but I'm also, I'm a peaceful warrior, right? That believes in doing good. But each one of us has our own manifestation of how we want to live that, you know, that peaceful world and think that what we're doing is right and what they're doing is wrong. It's challenging, you know? So, you know, I think those experiences from those certain countries that see,

all this either war or I mean, it's just, gosh, I don't know what the right word is, but it's like when they see things happening to them all the time, they're going to be angry. They're going to be frustrated. They're going to be, they're going to fight for them, for their, for who they are. Right. And so, you know, I think as we grow forward in this new world after, you know, post COVID.

Will Day

I think we have a lot of amazing opportunities for us to connect again and bring back and take away the old narrative, these people who are constantly lying. When are people gonna be called out on lying? Just stop lying world and just be honest. So we're different, we're unique. We have different values sometimes, we have different ideas, but that's what love's about. Stop forcing things on people they don't want.

That's like telling me, Will, go do this job and you're gonna love it. And I'm like, I hate it. I know God created me to do something else. Well, if I live in a place that's free enough that will give me that opportunity, I will shine and so will everybody else around me. That's what we want, right?

Srini Rao

Well, let's shift gears a little bit and talk about this whole idea of expectations, because one of the things you say in your TED Talk was that shedding expectations and embracing life's disruptions are the ways to find creativity in the chaos. And then you go on to say, if you're weighed down by expectations, if you allow the disruptions in chaos of life to keep weighing you down, it closes you off from the world. And this is one of those really beautiful things that's easy to say, hard to do. I know. I mean, you and I have probably very...

somewhat similar backgrounds. I mean, I come from a culture of expectations, you know, where what people praise in our culture is high achievement and their very clear definition of high achievement is doctor, lawyer, engineer, or something that is respected by society. You know, so this process of sort of letting go of, you know, other people's expectations, how do you actually go about doing that? And why is it that so often it takes a tragedy like

the one you had for people to have a wake up call that enables them to do this.

Will Day

I think because we're programmed right now to, we come into this world, we're naive, we're absorbing, and we're structured and we're taught what the society wants us to do, which is okay, but our spirit and soul is stronger. And so once we learn how to break away from that control in a respectful way, everybody else around us benefits.

Why does a tragedy like that cause us to go into these reflective times? I think because it's the one that's the shock factor. It's the one like, you know what? Something needs to change. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I lost my money. I'm sick. Whatever it is, it is the wake-up call. You know, and we hear through history and all these amazing books and writers have talked about the wake-up call.

the call to action, when are you going to take your call? Well, each individual has a different call to action. For me, it was that, it was, you know, unfortunately it happened to be that time period, it was 9-11, and that was the biggest thing that I ever had to experience at the time in our society. And I was like, gosh, there's gotta be, there's gotta be something that's gonna be powerful and good that's gonna come out of this, and I'm not here to just cruise anymore. I'm here to be me.

And I'm here to lead by example and figure out what that means in our society. So I can leave a legacy of peace and innovation and inspiration and creativity and health and a good family name, whatever it is, without having this expectation of saying, look what everybody told me to do. I did it. I'm going to die miserable. So I think it just takes time to shift to each.

each of our journey to sort of have people that love you, that surround yourself with people that love you. We may not understand that journey, but if it's your spouse, your father, your grandfather, your mother, whoever, I think the ones that really care about you the most are gonna set you free and let you begin that journey of shedding your expectations because expectations are what? They are...

Will Day

It's about control. It's about fear. It's about we know what's better for you. Well, we really don't because I'm not you. And I think once we learn how to shut each of our expectations, gosh, man, let me tell you the layers of freedom. I just feel like someone took 100 pounds off my body and I was like, wow, I almost can like walk on water. I just feel lighter. I'm not carrying everybody's baggage anymore. And so.

You know, each one of us has that choice, the choice to make and say, hey, you can live your life and living what everybody else wants, or you could cruise, you can hang out, you can make millions, or you can actually be an innovator. And an innovator doesn't mean being Leonardo da Vinci or Elon Musk, an innovator is someone that is honest and true to yourself, that is making an impact in your local community or with your family.

And that is just important.

Srini Rao

So there's one last piece of this I want to ask you about. One of the things you say in the TED Talk is, I lost my job. I'm scared, frozen in time. I didn't know who I was or what I should be doing. This was the darkest time of my life. Expectations weighed me down so much I felt paralyzed. I couldn't move. So I escaped down to my basement and I started to paint.

And that reminded me of something that one of our guests said earlier this year. He said, you know, fear is a reaction and creativity as a response. Why is it you think that some people respond with creativity that the way that you did and others will react with fear?

Will Day

I think each of us has, I reacted because I knew that was my safe place. When my parents got divorced, it triggered an emotion for me. Each one of us. Some people go and become athletes. Some people, I don't know, some people hopefully get healthier. For me, I knew it was like going back to being my young boy at eight years of age.

and saying shit. What got me through this divorce, scary time? Again, I'm not mad at my parents. I just was alone and abandoned. I felt alone and abandoned again at that moment in time, in 2008. It triggered something that I thought I dealt with, which I haven't, and creativity, and being alone, and creating these amazing watercolors. Like I remember right now, sitting in this room, creating these amazing little pieces, and that brought happiness and peace to me in a time of...

war. That's what I felt. So why did I go there? Because that was my first point of safety and safety and confidence where I said, you know what, I know I can do things. And I know I like to paint and I like that feeling. So I'm going to go do that. It just happened to be creative. And it just happened to be putting something on a canvas or on a large piece of paper.

or on a wall. So I went back to a place, you know, if you were to analyze my psyche of something that was of, of safety.

Will Day

Others may not understand what that meant, but I've had a lot of time to think about these paths. And obviously, doing the TED Talk, you reflect quite a bit about trying to allow people to listen and figure out what their message could be and how they can discover their journey so they can move from a place of fear to a place of love.

Srini Rao

So I have two final questions for you. You mentioned that you kind of started your career with this idea of becoming a Gordon Gekko type figure. How has this whole experience changed your perception of the value of money and wealth?

Will Day

Whew. Okay. Good question. Remember, I still value money and wealth in a way that helps me live a life cell that I want to pass on for generations, right? Not just my grandkids, but my great, great grandkids. But what I'm trying to change, what I have changed is obviously the deliverable of that. I don't just get a paycheck anymore, right?

I work in a studio, I'm a painter. I don't have a salary, folks. I'm full-time artist receiving.

Will Day

receiving payments based on kind of the inspiration I create and hopefully the connectivity that people love on my canvases. So I think what's different is that I'm okay some months not making a lot of money or any money. I've learned to say, let go. If you're doing the right thing in the universe, I promise you God will move mountains and let this happen for you.

From me, it's I brought my family on a path that said, hey, I worked in Wall Street. I'm gonna make this money. This is what we're gonna do. This is this, everything was, oh, I see the future. Then I said, okay, we're gonna stop that. I'm turning the ship back around. We're gonna go a whole new direction. That was chaos. That was fear. That was like, oh my gosh, this is horrible. I don't like it. I'm scared. I wanna get divorced.

I don't know who you are. And it takes a bigger person to say, trust me. I believe in myself. So anybody out there believe in yourself, believe that the money will come. I'm not saying just hang out in your studio and just paint blah, blah. You have to really dig deep and figure out what it is to change, make a living, enjoy. Like I enjoy.

the transaction of receiving a check. Because I know that's coming my way into my Will Day Art narrative story, which would then be given back to other parts of the art world or community or foundations that I love. So there's a transfer of mindset that is so different now. Instead of just building a Will Day Arts portfolio, this is a mindset of the money.

The money you invest with will also is going to be moved to other places of joy and happiness and innovation. That's a big change, but that takes time to understand what that means and also ways to figure out how to lead with that. Because there's months, like, listen, I got to pay mortgages. I got a big studio. I've got kids going to college. Yeah, I can just hang out and do nothing and get going to debt. But I do have a...

Will Day

a structure, a financial structure, how my art helps me with my lifestyle. And each artist should have that. And it's not all about making the millions of dollars. It's about what works for you in your place at that time, at that moment. And that's what's beautiful. And that's what I respect for each of these individuals and artists or creative spirits that are trying to make it. Because the fact that they have made it by choosing to be creative.

and choosing to use their heart to dictate how they connect to the world. That is priceless.

Srini Rao

Amazing. So I have one final question for you, which is how we finish all of this.

Will Day

Oh, deep breath here.

Srini Rao

What do you think it is that makes somebody or something unmistakable?

Will Day

Um, ask that again. I'm just, I'm not picking up. Rephrase.

Srini Rao

Yeah. What do you think it is that makes somebody or something unmistakable? So, you know, for the sake of, you know, having to define it, because when you write a book called unmistakable, you have to define what it means. My definition of this is doing something that only you could do in the way that you could do it.

Will Day

Yeah.

Will Day

Okay, what I think is unmistakable is what I do in my way is I try to be a channel of hope and inspiration. What's unmistakable is that, you know, I think the challenge is people see me as a painter, right? I'm an artist, but I'm not. And you're not either. You are an innovator that is not just labeled to one category.

if that's interviewing podcasts, writing books, or being a poet, you're not. So what I try to make sure that people understand is I'm not any different than you. But what's different is that I'm trying to continue to seek, to search, to listen, to innovate, and to be open to constantly change. That comes across my art.

Yeah, there are millions of them. There's so many better painters, technically. Better painters who sell more, who have, their skills are better, their oil technique's better, they have a better lineage, they've studied under blah, blah. They're, yeah. But what I say to myself is, remember, know who you are. And this is what I love, my other favorite athlete hero bringing this, I was a hockey player, it was Wayne Gretzky, and he's been in the news recently, but he said,

What was your success? What made you so unmistakable and so different and unique? And he said, listen, I wasn't the fastest. I wasn't the biggest. But what I was, I had the strongest mental toughness any hockey player ever developed. I knew my strength, and my strength was to mentally understand my ability to be fast and quick. Yeah, I worked hard.

But again, I knew how to weave my strengths on that ice. He was unmistakably the best player of all time because he figured out something that he didn't have to force himself to be someone else. For me as a painter, I think about that every day and I tell my kids this, you are a unique soul. You need to believe that. You can't compare yourself to the other people that are bigger, stronger, faster, you know.

Will Day

good looking, whatever you want to call it. I have to sit here in the studio and say, yeah, I'm being critiqued all the time on social media and through galleries and what people buy, but I'm still not going to play into their narrative of what they want me to say or do, expectations. And so I think the big difference is every day I wake up and I say, I am not just a painter. I'm a storyteller, I'm a creative person. I seek adventure.

I'm very curious. I really want to have a successful, healthy relationship with my family, my wife. I want to do it differently. I look at all the past artists who've been so successful. Without getting too depressing about how their choices and lifestyles, that motivates me not to go where they went. And so unmistakably, I'm trying every day to find more of the harmony and balance.

and how I live my life and how I create and how I connect to people. And constantly changing. If you look at my art, my Instagram and my page, you're like, wow, what style is Will today? He has ADHD? Of course I do. I'm using that to my advantage, folks. I love going from like hard, very physical strokes, massive 20 foot canvases, sitting on big ladders and lifts to sitting on painting on the floor.

Unmistakably, I'm trying to do something that is so rare, but also allows me not to be afraid and still be me. Because I'm a very athletic, physical person, and I take that out on my art, and I don't wanna hold back.

Srini Rao

Amazing. Well, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to join us and share your story, your wisdom, and insights with our listeners. This has been really, really beautiful. Where can people find out more about you, your work, and everything else you're up to?

Will Day

You could find me on Instagram mostly at Will Day Art. That's where I post a lot of my updated information and ideas. My website, willdayart.com, is always updated with news, information of exhibits and shows. And Facebook, probably the simple one. Then LinkedIn, I mean, blah, blah. I try to be very targeted on how...

I share my story with the world through social media. But Instagram team is really where I go. So I appreciate your time and this has been wonderful. And you've asked some meaningful questions I haven't thought about in a long time.

Srini Rao

And for everybody listening, we will wrap the show with that.